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[challenge entry] Shakespear it ain't


.... nor is it a limerick.

From the Limericks challenge. See all 147 entries (closed)

(Spanners80 is keeping the voices in her head company, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:54, archived)
# your fly has become undone
(I helped save b3ta! mongychops, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 22:57, archived)
# it's a fly
i don't care if it's stuck.
harsh, i know, but i fucking hate flies.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:01, archived)
# wait outside, the rspca are on the way to your gaff atm
(McDazzle Knows not what he does, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:07, archived)
# really?
that'll be pauline, then
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:09, archived)
# I have bug trap duty at work
My boss hasn't realised I recoil in horror when they catch things like HUGE SPIDERS and I'm to terrified to do anything
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:05, archived)
# is your real name renfield?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:11, archived)
# Hahaha
Close
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:12, archived)
# all i can hear in my head now is
"rum tee tiddly tum tee tiddly tum tee tiddly tum"
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:16, archived)
# This is quite genuine
Given we have books worth quite literally bazookers of pounds, we have to monitor moths and their ilk's activity at every part of the library, including the strongrooms; the problem being the traps generally capture the hugest spiders known to humanity, which I have to clear up. Them being still being alive and wreathing all over the joint doesn't help when I come across them :(
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:23, archived)
# if you wait ten minutes after you come across them
they should be dead or, at the least, too sticky to move
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:28, archived)
# It's really quite unpleasant
the traps are basically a tablet that is irresistible to insects, on top of superglue, so these huge fuckers are drawn in, land one leg in the trap and are fucked, spending the rest of their pointless lives trying to struggle free

It's utterly horrible, and I really don't appreciate having to put them in the bin

But i'm just a grunt
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:35, archived)
# if it's not in your job description
tell them to fuck off.
if it is in your job description, tell them that, as a pacifist, killing insects is against your beliefs
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:41, archived)
# I think it's come to this
I had to ask someone else to remove the last arachnid captive I found

(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:46, archived)
# i don't understand it myself
i've had a pet tarantula, spiders don't bother me.
clowns, on the other hand...
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:48, archived)
# I used to be scared of Clowns...
Sod it, I still am.

(And Father Christmas)
(Rubber Fish is waiting, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:00, archived)
# Hello, new person.
Make us a picture pls?
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:04, archived)
# clowns are just evil
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:28, archived)
# That's strange, what's wrong with mothballs?
Also, you're in good company - several big strong men have had to ask me to remove spiders from their homes.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:32, archived)
# What's insane
is I will be hugging leopards tomorrow, with no nerves
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:36, archived)
# But leopards are fluffy!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:43, archived)
# so are spiders
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:45, archived)
# They are probably feeding on the pests
that might be damaging five hundred year old books, so I agree

they just can't be expected to read the brief
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:49, archived)
# Rentokil?
(I helped save b3ta! Christian's Bolt and Ski, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:26, archived)
# Hahaha!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Mon 6 Sep 2010, 23:32, archived)
# ...so much for the excellent eyesight
(I helped save b3ta! Elvis impersonator, Tue 7 Sep 2010, 0:27, archived)