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# Don't wish to be rude but how did that take you the whole evening?
Had you broken both your hands?
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:24, archived)
# If you don't wish to be rude
Then don't be.

It took me all evening because I'm not nearly as talented or adept as you are, and as such it takes me an awful long time to do even such basic, pathetic things as the above, but for such a snivelling, pathetic person as me, it brings me pleasure.

I'm so sorry to have clogged up your internets with my inanity - please sir, brush me aside as you are far more worthy a citizen than I.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:29, archived)
# The old 'I'm not being xxxxx but' followed by precisely the xxxxx they were purporting not to be ploy...
Rather than highlight the fact that they're not being rude, people simply ought to try not being rude.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:35, archived)
# I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but
it's being indirectly implied via a humourous comparison.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:55, archived)
# I didn't say I wasn't being rude.
I just said I don't mean to be. I honestly can't help it. I'm a total cunt.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:40, archived)
# He's
a bit sensitive.
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:56, archived)
# It's very simple.
If you don't mean to be rude, then don't be.

Next up, "I'm not racist, but ... "

It's a pathetic thing to say.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:04, archived)
# Don't be a bloody cry baby.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:41, archived)
# Don't be so rude, or, if you are, don't be dishonest about it.
You're not as great as you think you are, and have absolutely no right to try to condescend to or patronise anyone.

Get over yourself and grow up.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:03, archived)
# I don't wish to tell you to shut the hell up and grow a pair...
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:16, archived)
# You're really not very good at this. You're not cuntish, you're just a bit crap.
There's no need to be rude, so don't be. I've not done anything to upset you, so play nicely or piss off.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:25, archived)
# :'(
That'll teach me.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:29, archived)