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# Hello you sexy bunch of weirdo mutants.
Last night I spent almost the whole evening doing the email icon for my upcoming website - I thought I'd give you a preview, 'cos I'm rather proud of it:



CFB.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:42, archived)
# does it take 38 days to arrive if it's been snowing?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, archived)
# If delivered by zombies infected with the Rage virus it generally takes 28 days later
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:45, archived)
# *headdesks*
i'm bored
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Don't be bored do stuff
do a paintmash of something
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, archived)
# i can't be arsed
apathy rules today
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:49, archived)
# Do a "Like someone with a cork up their bum - I can't be arsed today!" paintmash, it would be ironic.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:55, archived)
# just tried something
wouldn't bloody load.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:59, archived)
# Drat!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:00, archived)
# i'll try again
it's nothing much, mind
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:02, archived)
# Me too
I feel like killing my boss with a stapler. But can't be bothered to go to the stationary cupboard to get any staples

If Only the stationary cupboard moved
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:20, archived)
# this is a perfect opportunity to practice telekinesis
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:23, archived)
# Making the phone ring?
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:24, archived)
# i think that's psychokinesis
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:27, archived)
# I thought Psychokinesis
Was making the Israeli Government come towards you.

(Cue the Bukake jokes!!!!)
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:30, archived)
# well, we don't want that, do we?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:31, archived)
#
zombiespeople

/zombie pedant
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Yeah they weren't zombies I know
but they acted like supercharged zombies!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, archived)
# I like the way we have established the difference between human beings and zombies
as if human beings are real lol!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:53, archived)
# ^this
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:48, archived)
# ..
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:16, archived)
# oh, i do like this
*clicks*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:17, archived)
# You spilt your tea on it!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! XLVII .uk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:43, archived)
# that's not tea, it's postman's tears
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:45, archived)
#
tears piss
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:46, archived)
# they cry out of their cocks, didn't you know?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, archived)
# While laughing out loud
:D
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:50, archived)
#
piss sperm
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:52, archived)
# That's rather goo
(I helped save b3ta! bilbobarneybobs I'll be 14 in b3ta years soon., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 13:47, archived)
# Why is it always text in your images?
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, archived)
# I've been thinking up a refresh of my webshite as well
(I helped save b3ta! prodigy69 My brain has too many tabs open, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:06, archived)
# Needs more rain damage :o)
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:11, archived)
# I like it
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:12, archived)
# Don't wish to be rude but how did that take you the whole evening?
Had you broken both your hands?
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:24, archived)
# If you don't wish to be rude
Then don't be.

It took me all evening because I'm not nearly as talented or adept as you are, and as such it takes me an awful long time to do even such basic, pathetic things as the above, but for such a snivelling, pathetic person as me, it brings me pleasure.

I'm so sorry to have clogged up your internets with my inanity - please sir, brush me aside as you are far more worthy a citizen than I.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:29, archived)
# The old 'I'm not being xxxxx but' followed by precisely the xxxxx they were purporting not to be ploy...
Rather than highlight the fact that they're not being rude, people simply ought to try not being rude.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:35, archived)
# I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but
it's being indirectly implied via a humourous comparison.
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 14:55, archived)
# I didn't say I wasn't being rude.
I just said I don't mean to be. I honestly can't help it. I'm a total cunt.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:40, archived)
# He's
a bit sensitive.
(I helped save b3ta! Not Pineapple anymore, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:56, archived)
# It's very simple.
If you don't mean to be rude, then don't be.

Next up, "I'm not racist, but ... "

It's a pathetic thing to say.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:04, archived)
# Don't be a bloody cry baby.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:41, archived)
# Don't be so rude, or, if you are, don't be dishonest about it.
You're not as great as you think you are, and have absolutely no right to try to condescend to or patronise anyone.

Get over yourself and grow up.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:03, archived)
# I don't wish to tell you to shut the hell up and grow a pair...
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:16, archived)
# You're really not very good at this. You're not cuntish, you're just a bit crap.
There's no need to be rude, so don't be. I've not done anything to upset you, so play nicely or piss off.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:25, archived)
# :'(
That'll teach me.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:29, archived)
# I like this.
:)
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:16, archived)