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# Hortense Esmerelda: Inbreeding Poster Child


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Meet Hortense Esmerelda, conceived and delivered atop a ruptured nuclear power plant spewing toxic chemicals that rarely mix well with any stage of human pregnancy. Hortense emerged from her mother Astrid's vageena—according to Hortense's father Dickey (Astrid's brother)—in a 'very, very unsettling manner,' hurdling out Gail Devers-style before shedding multiple layers of fur, feathers and scales. Of course, father Dickey has always been very faint-hearted when it comes to life's little miracles, so who knows how bad it really was.
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Tue 10 May 2011, 13:55, archived)
# would
(I helped save b3ta! Rebel biscuit stercore sumus et nos esse novimus, Tue 10 May 2011, 13:56, archived)
# BEWBS
(I helped save b3ta! Rocker_44 (-_-) shhhhh! Is asleep on, Tue 10 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
# wonky bewbs
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Tue 10 May 2011, 13:59, archived)
# Hi Daniel,
how's the therapy going?
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Tue 10 May 2011, 13:58, archived)
#
ahahha. the therapy is coming along, tho at a much slower pace than the doctors first anticipated. they keep saying "it's a process," but what does that even mean?
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:00, archived)
# It probably means they're writing a paper on you.
(I helped save b3ta! 4Q just lurking, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:01, archived)
#
is that why they're always carrying around that spiral notebook stamped "TOP SECRET"
(danielgoodm AntlerBoyStudios, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:05, archived)
# about ........................................................................................................................................................^ this time
(I helped save b3ta! real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:05, archived)
# What the actual fuck?
This is pretty magnificent.
(I helped save b3ta! Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Tue 10 May 2011, 14:58, archived)