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# What you 'aving!?
I got whiskey and coke 'ere...
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 21:56, archived)
# NO! BAD WHISKEY!
bacardi and coke or me
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 21:57, archived)
# Lime or lemon?
Willy shaped pink straw?
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 21:59, archived)
# lime
no willy straws, had enough of them last month
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:06, archived)
# I don't know if I should ask...
but have a crazy straw with a heart in the middle instead!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:15, archived)
# :D
sister's hen night.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:16, archived)
# Figures
there was almost as many hen parties down Canal Street as gayers last time I went, I await the day when it becomes The Hen Night Area and you get the occasional mob of gatecrashing queens grabbing their tits and laughing at them!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:22, archived)
# last time i went to canal street
got kicked out of a chippy for asking if they sold salt and pepper bingo wings
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:29, archived)
# Hahaha!
Last time I went was about 4 years ago and I got ejected from a pub courtyard for laughing at a bloke standing in the street with his arse out, as it was so spotty I kept asking for a pen so I could join the dots and see what the picture was.

I was very VERY drunk...
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:32, archived)
# fuck, i'd have pissed laughing at that!
i'm ALWAYS very drunk when i go out!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:36, archived)
# Last time I was there
I was propositioned by a bloke I've since seen on BBC3 as a movie critic.


Really.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:39, archived)
# Was that the bloke
who begged you to kick him in the nuts!?
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:40, archived)
# Whilst wearing size 12 leather safety wellie boots?
Yes.

And he bought us pints afterward. I don't understand the world any more.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:42, archived)
# He was a bit 'special' to say the least
and then he came on BBC3 and we both as one leapt up and shouted 'That's the guy who buys you a pint if you'll kick his nuts!'

Surreal ain't the word, up until then I thought we'd had fant-TASTIC drugs that night!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:46, archived)
# tell us who!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:44, archived)
# I might gaz you a link to his stuff on the youtoob...
...if I can find it and remember.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:49, archived)
# no youtubery on my dying computer:(
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:51, archived)
#
download and burn a live cd of puppy linux. 'tis not as geekily complicated as it may seem, will not touch your hard drive if you do not want it to and will revive your ageing pooter allowing you tubiness.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:56, archived)
# thanks for the tip
i shall giveit a try tomorrow, when i'm less shattered.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 23:02, archived)
# I'd help you
but I fix computers 9-5, 5 days a week. weekends are NOT filled with computer fixery.

Unless they're at least twenty years old.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:57, archived)
# it probably is!
compaq v50
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 23:03, archived)
# and a fujitsu keyboard
it's a frankenstein computer and the keyboard doesn't respond well to having cup-a-soup spilled on it
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 23:05, archived)
# He wasn't laughing...
I was pissing meself tho!

The worst thing ever to get yourself into is a situation where you know if you laugh everyone will assume the worst of you, but somehow those situations never stop being the funniest!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:39, archived)
# very true
but if i'm pissed, i just think "fuck it" and laugh anyway!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:43, archived)
# thinking and/or being told it's not really funny
combined with knowing that everyone will only assume the worst only ever makes it funnier
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:43, archived)
# I was fucking apoplectic
with guilty mirth and surrounded by scowls.

But by fuck it was funny!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:48, archived)
#
...please Myfanwy?
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:04, archived)
# is that what he drinks?
funny, i used to drink vodka, but got into bacardi because it's what my mates drink.
yes, they are gay men.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:08, archived)
# I've never drunk Bacardi in my entire life.
I pride myself on being a non-stereotypical male lesbian.

Correct.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:16, archived)
# it's lovely
and doesn't give you heartburn like vodka does.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:17, archived)
# Heartburn
is just a weekend hazard for me. I use proton-pump inhibitors.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:20, archived)
# havenn't had heartburn for 3 years
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:28, archived)
# Good for you.
The pH of my stomach content is always far too low.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:37, archived)
# just do what i did
have drastic and potentially deadly surgery!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:41, archived)
# gaz me about it if you like.
I need knee surgery, but it's hardly life threatening.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:51, archived)
# gastric bypass.
best decision i ever made
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:53, archived)
# It will be if I do it.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:56, archived)
# Quite possibly...
...that's not a haemostat, it's spongebob squaaaaaarrrrrrrrghhh!!!!
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 23:01, archived)
# stella pls
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:50, archived)
#
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 22:53, archived)
# :D

(, Sat 21 May 2011, 23:50, archived)
# Make mine a White Russian.
Preferably 19-21 from Petrapovlovsk.
(, Sat 21 May 2011, 23:02, archived)