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# Yep
It warns everyone in a 5 mile radius that the wearer is in a state of 'panic'
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:22, archived)
# I assume it goes with out saying
that when the button of panic is pressed, the pants of action automatically help the wearer's anus (and scrotum if the wearer is male) tighten comfortably?

(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:25, archived)
# It creates a comfortable and reassuring "grip"
and also gound-discharges static build up creating a nice tingling sensation.

It's multifunctional.
(I helped save b3ta! The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:28, archived)
# Cor!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 12:38, archived)
# Vapour projecting capability optional or standard?
(I helped save b3ta! HairyTwatter certified eel and sodium salesman, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 13:36, archived)