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# should be
Ken Dodd's dad's dog's dead
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:03, archived)
# Surely not
That would mean the same as 'Ken Dodd is Dad is Dog is Dead'

The ' replaces a missing letter (i.e. the i in is)

I think
(Scary, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:05, archived)
# no
ken dodd has dad has dog is dead

it's still contrived, but that's what it is, i believe (i just realised that it might not)
(I helped save b3ta! spacefish bong!, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:07, archived)
# strictly
i believe 's is the possessive. but 's is also used as a lazy form of is.
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:10, archived)
# Naah
You're getting them mixed up with sloppy spelling. eg: Kevin's fine (just missing out the letters 'cos it's easy.... ooh there's an example there.... ooh and another one's there.... oooohh more!!!
(Plum Pidgeon, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:09, archived)
# it means both
it replaces missing letters AND indicates ownership

the exception is "its" meaning "belonging to it", as opposed to "it's" meaning "it is"

"Ken Dodd's nuts" can mean "Ken Dodd is nuts" or "the nuts belonging to Ken Dodd" depending on context - that richness and versatility is what makes english such a bastard awkward language to learn.
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:11, archived)
# your all nerds
(I helped save b3ta! gracielou, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:14, archived)
# Wrong!
That should be...

You're all nerds

"you are", as opposed to "your" (possesive)
(Plum Pidgeon, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:19, archived)
# but it's a meme
so it's allowed
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:22, archived)
# Oh honestly...
There's no excuse for murdering the English language

There's plenty of excuses for murdering Jeffrey Archer on the other hand
(Plum Pidgeon, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:25, archived)
# ptchaw
you say that like it's a bad thing!
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:22, archived)
# i love the english language
it's stupidly and insanely complicated :)
(I helped save b3ta! the triple legendary unicorn, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:15, archived)
# This is the BEST
thread ever.
*FACT*
(I helped save b3ta! Gotham9k, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:21, archived)
# I find I make my text messages gramatically correct
I love the bizarre complexity of English, but then I also have a similar fondness for cricket.
It's a silly sport, but the rules are gloriously intricate.
(I helped save b3ta! Pootle, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:21, archived)
# similarly
I always seem to have to make texts out in proper english, even though I know I could say more if I used "u" and "4" and "B" instead of "you" and "for" and "be"...

I am keen on using "&" instead of "and" though, which is just sensible.
(I helped save b3ta! JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks, Tue 15 Apr 2003, 21:23, archived)