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# eek! don't use goto!
there could be java 'programmers' on here

you'll only confuse them! :p
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:24, archived)
# that would be a basic mistake
(Flambard I am a cat ass trophy, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:28, archived)
# I pride myself
on always programming with gotos on the off-chance that someone else will come across the code and have a heart attack.

Plus it's often a lot easier to do that than to think of some clever "modern" way of achieving *exactly the same fucking thing*. PAH.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:31, archived)
# of course, without "GOTO" or equivalent
computers.
wouldnt.
fucking.
work.

So spork them all in the face with a spork!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:50, archived)
# I have published papers
with results based on a shitty Euler integrator structured like this:

10 CONTINUE
...shitty Euler integrator...
IF (some arbitrary exit condition) GOTO 100
GOTO 10
100 CONTINUE

science is doomed
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:56, archived)
# do it all using a single instruction cpu
:D

that'll show those bastards!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:58, archived)
# Well, I very rarely parallelise
Fed up of having to insert atomic calls everywhere and see the code slow down to the slowest thread, UTTERLY removing the fucking point in the first place. Some might say that this is just a sign of me being shit at parellelising code, and they'd be right, but fuck them all with the OpenMP manual.
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 18:09, archived)
# I've never done any of that stuff
maybe I should learn something from within the last 20 years :)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 18:14, archived)
# you certainily should
lolcode.com/

the programming language of the future

edit: sample code
HAI
CAN HAS STDIO?
I HAS A VAR
IM IN YR LOOP
UP VAR!!1
VISIBLE VAR
IZ VAR BIGGER THAN 10? KTHXBYE
IM OUTTA YR LOOP
KTHXBYE



fuck me i'm such a massive nerd

(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 18:20, archived)
# heh, might get round to Z80 at some point
:)
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 18:23, archived)
# I hope you like juggling registers.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 19:00, archived)
# meh, it's piss
they are all much the same

just some have those occasional functions that mean you don't have to do lolcarry everything
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 19:13, archived)
# thems
the breaks
(I helped save b3ta! rogan, Sun 2 Oct 2011, 17:36, archived)