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# PISSTHROBBERS


I rate this scenario as



1 Shit out of 5 (Nobody actually gives a shit).

Oh well, to the vendors of yet more fucking shitty computers
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:15, archived)
# I would like to borrow this scale for books.
edit: also, how did your computer do a shit? Did it eject a floppy or exude a diarrhoeal series of boot fails?
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:16, archived)
# It actually fell over while saying "never again man, my heads fucking done in"`
then it drowned in a pool of it's own effluvia and burst into flames, then a marching band walked over it, then a steamroller, then a satellite fell on it and died and died.

(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# have you tried turning it off and turning it back on again?
*doh!* sorry riverghost!
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:24, archived)
# The pope won't let me.
The pope.. he fucking stymies my plans!! but one day, one day man, on that day, woah.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:26, archived)
# fucking popes.
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:29, archived)
# Is that the first stanza of the rite which summons that most ancient of anti-popish demon, Imchokedacron?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:47, archived)
# only if you're naked and smeared in chickenblood
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:53, archived)
# Does bloodied with chicken-smear count?
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:54, archived)
# cor! it does in my book! come 'ere darling!
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:03, archived)
# Sounds like one of the motherboard's capacitors has failed.
Bum, I should have said "mobo" to sound all geeky and shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
# sounds more like the psu has took a shit
checking a spare one now

edit: so much for the spare, that had the 12v going down to 10v and wobbling about.

either the board's lost it's mental or I got two fucked supplies.

Knowing my luck I have 2 fucked supplies and 1 frazzled mental board :D

ah well, TO THE EMPORIUMS! (once I get my celery wired up and get my passwords of the hopefully not fucked hd from old machine)...
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:36, archived)
# Aw man, mis-wired celery is a right bitch.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:49, archived)
# least it's not the courgette
they're well expensive
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:54, archived)
# eggplant
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:57, archived)
# zucchini
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:11, archived)
# that is still a courgette
deduct two points.
Also: leek.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:12, archived)
# aubergine
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:16, archived)
# that is still an eggplant.
deduct four pints. Points.
Lettuce
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:19, archived)
# *see sig for details*
you little gem, you
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:20, archived)
# Gah!
Award me five points for thinking of Iced Gems. Mmmm.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:47, archived)
# *awards five points*
*craves*
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:50, archived)
# i wish i had spare PSUs
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:04, archived)
# yes, it's great having spares that are broken
:D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:07, archived)
# What you need is
a bin
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:09, archived)
# I got one
but it's broken
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:29, archived)
# now i don't know much about computers but make sure it has at least two rams
(I helped save b3ta! sock more tea vicar?, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:17, archived)
# it has 2 rams
no more, no less.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:22, archived)
# Tell me about it
I.T. just tried to upgrade the security certificates on our website (something I normally do without incident) and they've managed to stack the whole server...I was hoping to get home before the tubes fill up with drunk/boisterous or drunk/angry soccerball morons, but now it looks like my journey will coincide just exactly with their leaving the pub :(
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:20, archived)
# You need my patented "Anti-lout helm"
The insides are filled to the brim with pictures of flowers and kittehs. Comes with free earplugs.
I would 'shop this but have had too much G&T.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# "BETTER IMPROVEMENT THROUGH VIGOROUS FAILURE"
yay
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:24, archived)
# Fuck it, I might go to the pub down the road where they don't have a telly
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:25, archived)
# good suggestion is good.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:46, archived)
# Now back, two pints later
Server still down, apparently because of corrupted file system

Fucksticks
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# This is the reason taxis were created.
(I helped save b3ta! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:53, archived)
# Have you turd it on and off again?
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:21, archived)
# yay!
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:22, archived)
# :D
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# not now it seems it's memory is WIPED
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:23, archived)
# Try jamming a screwdriver in the hole
Or use a pencil to work it out.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:26, archived)
# Sleeping French Fan!!!!
Must be a boring game!


(delboyonline suffered a rectal prolapse in 1997!, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:32, archived)
# hoh-he-hoh-he-snore
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:33, archived)
# haha, I saw that
instant meme
(I helped save b3ta! HappyToast Groat froth, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:34, archived)
# Is there any other kind?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# May be getting stack dump errors.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:35, archived)
# TOASFF - Text On A Sleeping French Fan!

(delboyonline suffered a rectal prolapse in 1997!, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 18:43, archived)
# Yeah, I need to get a new one too
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:46, archived)