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# Haha
I am quite tempted now.
'Hey, baby, you smell just like my mum's bathroom!'
*She groans* 'I thought it would remind you of your teenage years.'
'Yeah, and your pubes are now blonde like hers too!'
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:51, archived)
# Ten points if you get in the line "Toilet duck! Oh baby... how did you know?"
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:52, archived)
# THAT's why the nozzle is that shape!
Edit: also, getting a brand name like that into a fantasy genre book is going to be challenging. Maybe if there was a lemon-scented pet duck which lived in the bathroom... But the heroine would still have to rub herself on it. Could be considered animal cruelty.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:55, archived)
# Hahahaha, actu-lols.
You're onto a winner.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 19:56, archived)
# It could be a rubber duck.
ed: oh right fantasy. Make it the Commode Swan.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:01, archived)
# "Oooo I love how the neck bends just right!"
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:05, archived)
# A heroine who is destined to save the world, has an all-powerful king for a husband and an arse as neat as a rounded peach
Keeps a swan in a commode with which to freshen her lady parts.

You're right. It could sell.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:08, archived)
# To wipe away the royal leavings.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Mu Dinofiddler, Mon 11 Jun 2012, 20:09, archived)