Not really a 'cooking' tale but...Years ago I had a girlfriend who had been ill for a while and had gone to stay with her parents.
She came home and one Sunday a month or so later she suggested that we visit these parents.
So off we pop to mum and dads house where I foolishly offer to cook dinner (as G/F pointed out that I am a rather good cook).
It was a hot July day and I was happily in the kitchen cooking chinese food (Spicy beef and noodles with fried rice) but I was getting a little warm what with the heat of the cooking and the sun streaming in through the windows..
The mum enters the kitchen and I asked her if she had anything cold to drink. 'Yes' she replied 'There's some fresh orange juice in the fridge'..
As I opened the fridge I had one of those TV advert moments where you look into the cool fridge and see a carton of orange juice with drips of water running down the sides, a beautiful site to behold indeed.
G/F enters kitchen and says hello as I reach into the fridge for the juice.
Being so hot and thirsty I decided not to get a glass but to drink direct from the carton, I titled my head and poured into my mouth swallowing madly to comabat the thrist..
The I felt it - Lumps, not nice pulp lumps but thick green rancid mould and bitter foul off orange juice. I pulled the carton away and coughed green spores into the air..
It turned out that the juice had been bough when sick G/F was staying there and as nobody else drank it it had been left to fester and grow a skin all of its own..
I threw, I spewed, I was sick over G/F, sick over dinner, the side, the cooker, the floor I was sick everywhere for about an hour - I still retch now at the thought..
Suffice it to say that it was all my fault according to G/F and parents so G/F and I broke up very soon after (In car on way home in fact)..
That's a pretty bad cooking story for ya, tho' I'm a very good cook myself and the Chinese had it not been coated in green mouldy sick would have been well tasty.
(She came home and one Sunday a month or so later she suggested that we visit these parents.
So off we pop to mum and dads house where I foolishly offer to cook dinner (as G/F pointed out that I am a rather good cook).
It was a hot July day and I was happily in the kitchen cooking chinese food (Spicy beef and noodles with fried rice) but I was getting a little warm what with the heat of the cooking and the sun streaming in through the windows..
The mum enters the kitchen and I asked her if she had anything cold to drink. 'Yes' she replied 'There's some fresh orange juice in the fridge'..
As I opened the fridge I had one of those TV advert moments where you look into the cool fridge and see a carton of orange juice with drips of water running down the sides, a beautiful site to behold indeed.
G/F enters kitchen and says hello as I reach into the fridge for the juice.
Being so hot and thirsty I decided not to get a glass but to drink direct from the carton, I titled my head and poured into my mouth swallowing madly to comabat the thrist..
The I felt it - Lumps, not nice pulp lumps but thick green rancid mould and bitter foul off orange juice. I pulled the carton away and coughed green spores into the air..
It turned out that the juice had been bough when sick G/F was staying there and as nobody else drank it it had been left to fester and grow a skin all of its own..
I threw, I spewed, I was sick over G/F, sick over dinner, the side, the cooker, the floor I was sick everywhere for about an hour - I still retch now at the thought..
Suffice it to say that it was all my fault according to G/F and parents so G/F and I broke up very soon after (In car on way home in fact)..
That's a pretty bad cooking story for ya, tho' I'm a very good cook myself and the Chinese had it not been coated in green mouldy sick would have been well tasty.
Darryn.R,
Thu 9 Oct 2003, 14:16,
archived)
woops, that's a bit of a fuckerreminds me of the time i cracked a rotten egg in to a frying pan, i retched so hard i pulled a muscle in my stomach and it hurt for a week
(
Spoon,
Thu 9 Oct 2003, 14:22,
archived)
On the subject of ex partners...My ex-boyfriends parents were terrible cooks, they used to make roast beef, chips, baked beans and gravy, and they used to dish it all out for me before I could get to it, as I was a guest.
Did I forget to mention that the baked beans were cold? Now, cold baked beans are ok with nice hot chips, but cold baked beans and hot gravy?
Since it was the first visit to meet his parents, I couldn't very well say anything, so I tried to eat it. I think that it's perhaps one of the most revolting combinations of tastes and textures that food could possibly have.
We split up. Partly because I didn't like visiting his parents...
(,
Thu 9 Oct 2003, 14:24,
archived)
Did I forget to mention that the baked beans were cold? Now, cold baked beans are ok with nice hot chips, but cold baked beans and hot gravy?
Since it was the first visit to meet his parents, I couldn't very well say anything, so I tried to eat it. I think that it's perhaps one of the most revolting combinations of tastes and textures that food could possibly have.
We split up. Partly because I didn't like visiting his parents...