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# **THREADJACK**
We interrupt this post to bring you a newsflash.

My landlady has just tried to seduce me.

/shocked but at the same time rather turned-on
(I helped save b3ta! Duncan Disorderly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:51, archived)
# oooh
how odd
(I helped save b3ta! viperrr mostly comes out at night, mostly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:51, archived)
# No, no no!
You say: "YAY! You lucky Sod! Did she offer you to let you off the rent or was it your mum?"
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# Is she hideous
and smells of kippers?
(I helped save b3ta! Scary Mary The D'oh Fairy, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# Kingpin



ack
(I helped save b3ta! Tedmus, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)
#
/vomits at the memory
(I helped save b3ta! Duncan Disorderly, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:17, archived)
# Congratulations
Is this a vomit inducing seduction or a non-sunshine 'I would' type?
(I helped save b3ta! Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:52, archived)
# Is she nice or nasty?
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)
# Is she cute?
or does she smell of Castor Oil and has a face that would turn over a diesel?

If she's cute, then what the watermelon are you doing here?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:53, archived)
# No one actually smells of...
...castor oil.
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# Actually
I once knew this girl...
(I helped save b3ta! splorp ®, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:57, archived)
# I do
But that may be because I bathe in it*

*not actually true
(I helped save b3ta! useful_idiot, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:57, archived)
# I would not know
since I've never had the (dis)pleasure of tasting and/or smelling it.

Okay, okay... how about WItch Hazel? People can smell of Witch Hazel, can't they?
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:00, archived)
# Witch Hazel is...
...a "drawing ointment" for when you've got a deep splinter. It works and makes the plaster you put over it give off quite a nice, rich, curry-like smell. Nice!
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:03, archived)
# I rest on your face.
I would NOT want to smell like curry.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:05, archived)
# Mmmmm, baby!
Rest a while... Er, where am I?
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:05, archived)
# gross, dude
...

hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:11, archived)
# WHO CARES!
She wants to have sex with him! There ARE no other criteria!
(A Wooden Leg Named Smith, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:26, archived)
# go for it.
what have you to lose, except your hepititas negative status?
(time travelling chicken, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:56, archived)
# speaking of which
I forgot to tell you...

I've developed a rash.
(I helped save b3ta! Scoopzilla http://www.slapwatch.com now get to fuck, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 21:57, archived)
# You need...
...whitch hazel!
(the_hammerhead_tart -- In love with a strict machine, Tue 18 Nov 2003, 22:07, archived)