conniving salesman cranberryI was truly a cranberry, I admit it.
I was doing door to door sales in a northerly scottish city, in the pissing rain and driving snow. It was miserablely hard work, and sales were not going to well. I think I'd made about 16 quid for 8 hours work, and still had four to go.
I knocked on this one ladies door, and she listened to my speel for about two minutes, before saying that she couldn't afford to buy my restaurant discount card. However, being nice, she invited me in. She explained that she was divorced with two kids, and that she really had no money. And anyway, what was I doing door-to-door sales for? (I was a freshfaced, be-ponytailed 18 at the time)
Thinking fast, I told her that I was doing it because my girlfriend was pregnant, and we needed the money for the deposit on a flat. The poor woman just melted with sympathy, went and fetched her purse, and handed me the 15 quid for this poxy restaurant card. That was quite probably her food budget.
Then she asked me the question: 'When's she due?'. I answered 'October', at which she looked very puzzled. I'd picked a month off the top of my head, and didn't do any sums.
This happened in November. Had my imaginary girlfriend fallen pregnant that very morning, she would have been in the Guiness book of records for being the first woman ever to be pregnant for 11 months. Or Huntingdon Life Sciences being chopped up for research.
My escape was to quickly put on my innocent face and say 'Oh, I thought you meant when she *fell* pregnant.'. And get out of the front door very quickly.
I have, honestly, felt guilty about that for years. All I got from the sale was 4 quid.
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Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:01,
archived)
I was doing door to door sales in a northerly scottish city, in the pissing rain and driving snow. It was miserablely hard work, and sales were not going to well. I think I'd made about 16 quid for 8 hours work, and still had four to go.
I knocked on this one ladies door, and she listened to my speel for about two minutes, before saying that she couldn't afford to buy my restaurant discount card. However, being nice, she invited me in. She explained that she was divorced with two kids, and that she really had no money. And anyway, what was I doing door-to-door sales for? (I was a freshfaced, be-ponytailed 18 at the time)
Thinking fast, I told her that I was doing it because my girlfriend was pregnant, and we needed the money for the deposit on a flat. The poor woman just melted with sympathy, went and fetched her purse, and handed me the 15 quid for this poxy restaurant card. That was quite probably her food budget.
Then she asked me the question: 'When's she due?'. I answered 'October', at which she looked very puzzled. I'd picked a month off the top of my head, and didn't do any sums.
This happened in November. Had my imaginary girlfriend fallen pregnant that very morning, she would have been in the Guiness book of records for being the first woman ever to be pregnant for 11 months. Or Huntingdon Life Sciences being chopped up for research.
My escape was to quickly put on my innocent face and say 'Oh, I thought you meant when she *fell* pregnant.'. And get out of the front door very quickly.
I have, honestly, felt guilty about that for years. All I got from the sale was 4 quid.
Ha! Always talk slowly when lying. Give youself a chance to be accurate.Though there was a character in Crossroads who was pregnant for 11 months. The actress got pregnant two months after the character.
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pxyzyzygy,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:03,
archived)
Because I did my 1st year IT HND project on soap operas. pxyzyzygy,
Tue 25 Nov 2003, 12:42,
archived)
On the subject of "selling"....I used to sell time-shares.
We used to phone loads of people up and pretend to be from a newly-established kitchen company. All we wanted, I would say, is to ask a few questions about their 'kitchen habits'... do you use a dishwasher, madam... how often do you use the toaster, madam... does madam make use of the potato peeler... etc etc and other pointless questions.
At the end, we would tell them we would enter them in a free prize draw to win a brand spanking new kitchen as a sign of our gratitude.
Then, about a month later, we would phone ALL of them up and say "Remember us? You've won a free kitchen! Congratulations!". All they had to do was come along one and choose what style of kitchen they wanted...
So of course, one night at some London hotel, loads of people would arrive having travelled from far and wide full of excitement (mainly the wives) at the prospect of getting their free dream-kitchen...
... only to find themselves locked in a room and made to watch a time-share video...
... and then be told that the only way they would get a free kitchen was if they spent money they didn't have on some time-share somewhere in Spain.
Also, the kitchen they would get could probably be purchased in a pound shop.
Notice how I use the words "we" and "us" in an effort to spread the guilt amongst my ex-employers and fellow workers....
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Tue 25 Nov 2003, 14:07,
archived)
We used to phone loads of people up and pretend to be from a newly-established kitchen company. All we wanted, I would say, is to ask a few questions about their 'kitchen habits'... do you use a dishwasher, madam... how often do you use the toaster, madam... does madam make use of the potato peeler... etc etc and other pointless questions.
At the end, we would tell them we would enter them in a free prize draw to win a brand spanking new kitchen as a sign of our gratitude.
Then, about a month later, we would phone ALL of them up and say "Remember us? You've won a free kitchen! Congratulations!". All they had to do was come along one and choose what style of kitchen they wanted...
So of course, one night at some London hotel, loads of people would arrive having travelled from far and wide full of excitement (mainly the wives) at the prospect of getting their free dream-kitchen...
... only to find themselves locked in a room and made to watch a time-share video...
... and then be told that the only way they would get a free kitchen was if they spent money they didn't have on some time-share somewhere in Spain.
Also, the kitchen they would get could probably be purchased in a pound shop.
Notice how I use the words "we" and "us" in an effort to spread the guilt amongst my ex-employers and fellow workers....
I believe that is known as either'sugging' or 'being a cranberry'.
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Tue 25 Nov 2003, 19:08,
archived)