Poetry in motionI saw with great glee that poetry's back
When I read Crab Blokes tale about being a lumberjack.
And though my style can be somewhat clunky
I thought I too would write prose about spanking the monkey.
My true love has left me, I sit all alone.
I have no dog to lick my proverbial bone.
But though I was dumped I can't shift the blame
No woman forced on me my own secret shame.
You see I have a perversion, though I can't tell a lie
I got the idea from 'American Pie'...
When I feel lonely I bake me a cake,
For cakes can't forsake a man's trouser snake.
I bake a light sponge, then I fill it with cream.
Then I ice it with gunge, if you know what I mean.
I whisk up my egg whites to make a meringue.
A cream horn to fill is the yin to my yang.
I've tried different pastries,
from filou to choux
To shape into tartlets and fill with my goo.
My battenburgs are stodgy but it doesn't really matter.
As long as I get to fill them with my baby batter.
My tale of debauchery is almost done.
I know that it's sordid, but dammit, it's fun.
So if you come for tea, try deserts if you dare.
But stay well clear of the chocolate eclair.
(,
Tue 26 Feb 2002, 6:56,
archived)
When I read Crab Blokes tale about being a lumberjack.
And though my style can be somewhat clunky
I thought I too would write prose about spanking the monkey.
My true love has left me, I sit all alone.
I have no dog to lick my proverbial bone.
But though I was dumped I can't shift the blame
No woman forced on me my own secret shame.
You see I have a perversion, though I can't tell a lie
I got the idea from 'American Pie'...
When I feel lonely I bake me a cake,
For cakes can't forsake a man's trouser snake.
I bake a light sponge, then I fill it with cream.
Then I ice it with gunge, if you know what I mean.
I whisk up my egg whites to make a meringue.
A cream horn to fill is the yin to my yang.
I've tried different pastries,
from filou to choux
To shape into tartlets and fill with my goo.
My battenburgs are stodgy but it doesn't really matter.
As long as I get to fill them with my baby batter.
My tale of debauchery is almost done.
I know that it's sordid, but dammit, it's fun.
So if you come for tea, try deserts if you dare.
But stay well clear of the chocolate eclair.
Rosemary,you are a true Gee-knee-yus.
Words fail me.
I just emailed that to my friend and she said,
"that's really put me off my egg mayonnaise baguette..."
(,
Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:00,
archived)
Words fail me.
I just emailed that to my friend and she said,
"that's really put me off my egg mayonnaise baguette..."
It's alrightI don't do sandwich fillings, just confectionaries.
(,
Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:16,
archived)
a year in my lifei wanked a lot in january
did i enjoy it much? yes, very!
February was the same
Wanked and wanked and wanked again
What about that spring month March?
I hardened sheets with Mike's love-starch
In April, did I play in the sun?
No, I stayed in bed and played Sex for One
Got into a rhythm in May
Wanked at night and in the day
Enjoyed myself a lot in June
Used my skin-flute, played a tune
July and August and September
I fiddled with my massive member
Tried but failed in October
It was floppy cos I wasn't sober
Had a good time in November
I still shed tears when I remember
For Christmas instead of a Yuletide treat
My knob fell off and hurt my feet.
(did i enjoy it much? yes, very!
February was the same
Wanked and wanked and wanked again
What about that spring month March?
I hardened sheets with Mike's love-starch
In April, did I play in the sun?
No, I stayed in bed and played Sex for One
Got into a rhythm in May
Wanked at night and in the day
Enjoyed myself a lot in June
Used my skin-flute, played a tune
July and August and September
I fiddled with my massive member
Tried but failed in October
It was floppy cos I wasn't sober
Had a good time in November
I still shed tears when I remember
For Christmas instead of a Yuletide treat
My knob fell off and hurt my feet.
mikeisbrill,
Tue 26 Feb 2002, 7:17,
archived)