Here is a picture of Frank and this is his story....
'I have my theories. I have my theories about life and people and all the other stuff. They call me a fool. Well, talk is cheap. Show me the Benjamins.
Let me tell you about my friend Frank. Frank works for the local council, clearing up the borough. He is an enthusiastic and dilligent employee: no piece of litter is too small to be spiked and collected by Frank. He has won numerous 'Employee of the month' awards because of his dedication to his work. And he loves his work, he really does. He feels he is making an active, worthwhile contribution to the community. Everyone knows him and appreciates what he does for the area.
Except... except when he is drunk. Not even drunk, really... when he has a drink - it may be a small glass of Merlot or a shot of Bell's whiskey, it could even be a half of shandy - he becomes a different person. His eyes glaze over. He voice lowers an octave and he acquires a different accent. He becomes someone else.
When he is in this state, he undoes all his good work. He rips apart rubbish bags and strews the contents across the streets. He takes empty cans of coke and imaples them upon railings. He finds plastic bags of garbage and tips them over the fence into the patches of foliage by Alexandra Palace station. He goes to the bottle bank and loudly removes the glass, smashing it on the pavement.
When he awakens the next day, he has no recollection of his destructive actions. Some people say that he bottles up his feelings (resentment, rage etc) and that's why he screws things up when he is pissed. That is wrong. Frank is an agent of balance - he is subconsciously working to acheive cosmic alignment. He is an example of the forces that keep society in check. Sober, he is a force of order. Drunk, he is a force of chaos. To some degree we are all agents of balance: the doctor who treats his patients but beats up his wife, the accountant who fritters away her money in the pub, the comedian who wallows in sadness. We do and undo. Three steps forward, three steps back. It's like a nice dance.
And they called me mad.'
Youalways say that. Congratulations on reading it all (if you did). You are in the top 5% of B3ta.
(,
Wed 11 Feb 2004, 23:07,
archived)
hmmm...i thought the answer was 42, but this makes more sense!
w/y/h
(w/y/h
Kaiser,
Wed 11 Feb 2004, 23:08,
archived)
Ahem:Enthusiastic, collected except be, of, pissed comedian.
Courtesy of Sargant via The Magic Abbreviator For Bone Idle Lazy Sods.
(,
Wed 11 Feb 2004, 23:14,
archived)
Courtesy of Sargant via The Magic Abbreviator For Bone Idle Lazy Sods.
Wouldn't the worldbe a much better place if we were all like Frank.
Who knows for sure? Does it really matter?
(Who knows for sure? Does it really matter?
The Neville What what what,
Wed 11 Feb 2004, 23:16,
archived)