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# b3ta is like a normal umbrella, but it moulds vegetables.
Dunno if this is a glass cock, but it's a Surrealist Prior Art Generator.
(Indole Ring, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 15:57, archived)
# ?
new_matt is a deck of cards that runs on a single AA battery!
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:14, archived)
# .
raw-edge is a shirt button that traps small animals and follows you around.
(I helped save b3ta! raw-edge, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:19, archived)
# I'm going to patent myself
Indole Ring is a candle! It produces pure oxygen!
(Indole Ring, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:21, archived)
# .
[my real name] is a sofa that's powered by a single hamster! It plays the American national anthem and is two inches tall.

[my full name] is a samurai sword that looks really, really good, sends and receives faxes and may cause drowsiness.
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:26, archived)
# Wow!
I want one of those hamster-powered sofas.
(Indole Ring, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:27, archived)
# swap you for the oxygen-producing candle
(I helped save b3ta! new_matt, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:32, archived)
# monkeyspunkmoped is like a normal Christmas tree, but it uses the Google API.
(Monk3yspunkmop3d throws grenades, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:29, archived)
# If it wasn't so late, I'd make a picture of this
No Hands is a shower head that weighs less than a packet of cigarettes!

It's also important to know that John McCrirrick is a fork that has an on-board dictionary and sticks to the skin.
(Indole Ring, Tue 8 Oct 2002, 16:30, archived)