Oh British rail I loathe you so...A poem to our glorious fucked railways
Your'e rather fucked British rail,
Evey day I travel, evey day you fail,
To arrive on time, be cheap or clean,
In fact you fail in every respect, it would seem.
Your carriges are a filthy, they stink
I've seen cleaner puke filled sinks.
Your ticket prices are obsecene,
Another price hike? time to scream.
For 15 years I've traveled with you,
Your service is unaviodably poo.
It gets worse weekly now it seems,
You give excuses that make less sense than drugged dreams.
Oh British rail you bunch of Cnuts,
It really would be faster in a punt.
50 miles I travel to work and back,
it takes you 3 hours, one way, justify that!
No discount you give on season card or cheap return,
I do really hope you all burn!
I daren't work out the years of my life I've lost,
On your shit services, you pile of dross.
the end (for now)
/EDIT, and if anyone from the national newspapers is reading this, publish it, I dare you! :0)
(Your'e rather fucked British rail,
Evey day I travel, evey day you fail,
To arrive on time, be cheap or clean,
In fact you fail in every respect, it would seem.
Your carriges are a filthy, they stink
I've seen cleaner puke filled sinks.
Your ticket prices are obsecene,
Another price hike? time to scream.
For 15 years I've traveled with you,
Your service is unaviodably poo.
It gets worse weekly now it seems,
You give excuses that make less sense than drugged dreams.
Oh British rail you bunch of Cnuts,
It really would be faster in a punt.
50 miles I travel to work and back,
it takes you 3 hours, one way, justify that!
No discount you give on season card or cheap return,
I do really hope you all burn!
I daren't work out the years of my life I've lost,
On your shit services, you pile of dross.
the end (for now)
/EDIT, and if anyone from the national newspapers is reading this, publish it, I dare you! :0)
Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:03,
archived)
I'm fucking fucked offFirst day back at work, In three weeks, and I'm already pissed at the trains. (as I always am)
a factet for you, in the last 6 months, there has not been a single day, not one, where both my outward or inward journeys have both been punctual.
Frankly there are 3rd world contries that have a better service than we do.
Anyway, hi Tedmus, It's good to have a friend to help calm me down. I best finish my m3taprocessing eh? :0)
(a factet for you, in the last 6 months, there has not been a single day, not one, where both my outward or inward journeys have both been punctual.
Frankly there are 3rd world contries that have a better service than we do.
Anyway, hi Tedmus, It's good to have a friend to help calm me down. I best finish my m3taprocessing eh? :0)
Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:08,
archived)
Donemine yesterday though I am a little pensive coz I'm a bit of a numpty when it comes to Tattyplop and there are some seriously talented people taking part :0
(
Tedmus,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:17,
archived)
That's okAt least you have humour to save you ;0)
( Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:22,
archived)
that's a long journey to make twice a day!i tried commuting from kent to london (hour each way) and it nearly killed me. you have my deepest sympathy.
( the triple legendary unicorn,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:26,
archived)
I used to do Brigton to LondonNot a bad journey, less than an hour on the express, but my guess is that because of all the traincompany shareholders on that particular route, the companies are much more careful not to piss them off.
( Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:31,
archived)
Great poem ...... but i dont think british rail has existed for many years now.
though i agree 'southwest trains and connex' doesnt scan so well
..(and my god they're cunts)
[edit i should really be a bit faster with my replies]
(though i agree 'southwest trains and connex' doesnt scan so well
..(and my god they're cunts)
[edit i should really be a bit faster with my replies]
cow23,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:08,
archived)
You, sirare a poetic jeanyus.
Have you considered getting a laptop so you can shop kittens on the journey?
(Have you considered getting a laptop so you can shop kittens on the journey?
JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:10,
archived)
I already do, the batteryonly lasts 2 hours. I am designing a British Rail are Cnuts site at the moment.
I've made over 20 complaints and never recieved a coherent or beileivable excuse, or a refund, I am now going to drag thier names collectively through the Internet mud. The only cheap recourse for the commen man.
(I've made over 20 complaints and never recieved a coherent or beileivable excuse, or a refund, I am now going to drag thier names collectively through the Internet mud. The only cheap recourse for the commen man.
Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:13,
archived)
Well I think you're too lateto ruin their reputation... But then you can always blame that on their shoddy service right? :-D
On my local arm of the rail service, I got a photocard thing for free that allowed me to buy a weekly ticket that was much cheaper than the standard rates... It's still suprising though that I can drive further than the distance I'd take the train in less time, and on roads with a maximum 40mph limit... and traffic jams... and stopping for a sarnie. And 'cause it's a Mini I am actually paying less for the journey even including standard running costs on top of fuel and insurance!
(On my local arm of the rail service, I got a photocard thing for free that allowed me to buy a weekly ticket that was much cheaper than the standard rates... It's still suprising though that I can drive further than the distance I'd take the train in less time, and on roads with a maximum 40mph limit... and traffic jams... and stopping for a sarnie. And 'cause it's a Mini I am actually paying less for the journey even including standard running costs on top of fuel and insurance!
JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:16,
archived)
I think what galls the mostis there are no discounts _at__all_ on my journey, between 2 of the south coasts biggest cities, I'm hardly suprised there are only 2 other commuters who do the same journey.
Oh, and season tickes are pointless, I only have to have one day off on a monthy ticket, and the *GOSH* £6 I save on daily tickets is wiped out.
Brighton to Portmouth via 24 arshole of nowhere stations,stopping at every one.
/edit It takes 3/4 of an hour to drive to Portsmouth, so the train takes more than 3 times longer (almost 4 times in fact).
(Oh, and season tickes are pointless, I only have to have one day off on a monthy ticket, and the *GOSH* £6 I save on daily tickets is wiped out.
Brighton to Portmouth via 24 arshole of nowhere stations,stopping at every one.
/edit It takes 3/4 of an hour to drive to Portsmouth, so the train takes more than 3 times longer (almost 4 times in fact).
Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:21,
archived)
Hey, I live in one of those arseholes!I'm suprised how much is wiped out though... I was paying 14 quid from worthing to shoreham on a weekly, which was actually cheaper than bunking even if I'd only had to pay one-way per day... usual capture odds were every morning and two evenings.
But then I suppose the longer journeys have a slightly better cost ratio anyhow - 1.50 for a half-mile train ride within worthing itself? taking the extreme piss.
(But then I suppose the longer journeys have a slightly better cost ratio anyhow - 1.50 for a half-mile train ride within worthing itself? taking the extreme piss.
JustHere4Coffee remembers when all o' this were car parks,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:32,
archived)
I'm sorrySome of them look like lovely place to live, but once you had 6 months of seeing no-one whatsoever get on a Angmering, Climping, Ford (places I'd never heard of before) you do start to wonder. And they could do some express services that don't stop _eveywere_
( Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:37,
archived)
I live in the big arsehole between them.And I work in Lancing which definately qualifies as an arsehole. I live five minutes walk from the station, I work five minutes from the station at the other end. It is cheaper and quicker for me to drive.
At least on a normal day that is. It took me over an hour to get out of Worthing this morning.
(At least on a normal day that is. It took me over an hour to get out of Worthing this morning.
wheresthefish Partly filled with wrong,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 22:09,
archived)
This is part of myChilling Therapy :0)
( Radio Controlled Nun Hasn't posted for 6 years,
Mon 6 Jan 2003, 21:44,
archived)