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Home » Messageboard » The Cutting Room Floor: Deleted Scenes From The Movies » Message 697386

[challenge entry] Richard Gere liked hamsters...


...a little too much

From the The Cutting Room Floor: Deleted Scenes From The Movies challenge. See all 506 entries (closed)

(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:03, archived)
# Maybe
but she's still smiling!
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:05, archived)
# Very True!
Dirty Bitch!
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:06, archived)
# I will assume
you refer to she of the hairy armpit and not to me :)
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:07, archived)
# Of course!
:o)
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:08, archived)
# It was only a means to an end
to wean him off the same beaver obsession as Michael Douglas.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:08, archived)
# It's the fur
it tickles... er, allegedly.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:06, archived)
# The fur isn't the problem!
...Claws....
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:07, archived)
#
Nail Clippers...
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:09, archived)
# Then theres the gnawing...
...i've heard
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:11, archived)
# .
/crosses legs
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:12, archived)
# Well what did you think
the duck tape was for?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:15, archived)
# ducks?
makes sense to me
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:17, archived)
# Is there some story about Richard Gere and hamsters/gerbils
that I'm unaware of?
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:12, archived)
# Ummm...yes
trust me, you don't wanna know
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:13, archived)
# Oh,
go on. Do tell.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:15, archived)
# after much searching, this was my favorite
Archaeological world stunned when mummified gerbil is found in the upper reaches of Richard Gere's colon

Ali Rachman, archaeology student and part-time male prostitute, made the amazing discovery. "I had my arm almost an entire foot into Mr. Gere when my hand encountered an obstruction." That obstruction turned out to be the 5-year-old mummified remains of a gerbil that had been inserted in the actor's rectum years earlier. Ali immediately called in his professors, holding Richard Gere in the prone position until the archaeologists could document the exact location where the gerbil had mummified.

Richard Gere seemed both surprised and relieved that the gerbil was found. "I wondered where little Rocky had gone to." Scientists refused to return the mummified remains to Mr. Gere despite his protests. They claim it is of too great scientific value to leave in the hands of such "a twisted fucker."

The scientists are also attempting to have the government declare Mr. Gere's digestive track a historical treasure. Dr. Thomas Graham, head of the Stanford Archaeology Lab, is quite clear on the reasons for this move. "We have no idea what else we could find. This might be the greatest discovery since the La Brea tarpits."
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:17, archived)
# Hehehee
Much better story!
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:19, archived)
# He allegedly...
...used hamsters in a sexual practice...then took out a full page advertisement in The Times to deny it.
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:18, archived)
# not surprised
shes wearing gloves, if she gotta put that thing on her finger!! yuk!! hehehe
Love it!
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:12, archived)
# I believe the original item
was a diamond necklace...

/pedant
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:13, archived)
# perhaps
he has a pearl one for her later...


*snigger*
(, Mon 20 Jan 2003, 22:24, archived)