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# the 2D human characters
the awful shoe horning of the story
the lack of any real action
the horrible way they transform
and the entire missed opportunity of it all

here's hoping it's like the X-men films
and the second one will be better


(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:26, archived)
# But the terrible stereotypes of human characters was hilarious
as was the naff story. Especially the hacking. THIS IS THE SIGNAL THEY WERE USING TO HACK! ONLY A FAT BLACK DUDE WHO PLAYS DDR ALL DAY CAN FIND THE SECRET MESSAGE HIDDEN IN THE HACKER SIGNAL! WHAT THE FUCK THEY HACKED OUR FIREWALL THAT SHOULD TAKE TWENTY YEARS?!

What was wrong with the transforming, anyway? It had the "Borkbirkbirkbork" noise, and Starscream and Megatron could do awesome flips and transform in a split second while in mid air
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:27, archived)
# hahaha I loved the australian girl, just because she had nothing to do with the film whatsoever they just said
"WE NEED SEXY PEOPLE IN THIS SCENE!"
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:29, archived)
# :D
I'd forgotten her until now.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:31, archived)
# "I'm an australian! LAWL, HEAR MY CRAZY ACCENT LAWWL! AWLSO I HAWVE TIWTS!"
(I helped save b3ta! GrandmaOfShoes, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:32, archived)
# "Our webs are down, sir!" "Which webs?" "All of them!"
www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2007/07/16
(I helped save b3ta! The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:32, archived)
# Hah, exactly :D
I don't know which was worse. Die Hard 4's "QUICK HACK THE GASPIPES AND REROUTE ALL THE GAS TO THE PLANT TO MAKE IT EXPLODE!", or the Transformer signal hacking with secret messages and elite black DDR dudes
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:33, archived)
# or the whole, map on your glasses thing
WTF!?!?

why?!?!
i'll tell you why
because we need it for the story and we can't be bothered
to try and come up with something cool....
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:35, archived)
# :D
But without the glasses they wouldn't have been able to include the completely unnecessary glasses finding scenes with the transformers hiding outside the house, the "WERE YOU MASTURBATING!?!?" shouts of the mother and the "OMFG URFQUAKE!!" dad
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:39, archived)
# you're not doing very well in convincing me that this film was any good
:D
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:42, archived)
# Haha :D
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:43, archived)
# in those car adverts you can see how the car becomes a robot
in the film, the car becomes a mess then becomes a robot

things rotate over each other and it's all too complicated
i thought it was craptastic
(I helped save b3ta! The King of Hats Cone of shame, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:32, archived)
# And yet still Manwife, Transforners obsessive that he is wants to see it.
He had to buy the frigging magazine to get the free dogtags, and then they wouldn't fit over his dreads.

Needless to say I wasn't as upset by this as he was.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:36, archived)
# I had this discussion with a friend yesterday (about what was wrong with the transforming)
and we decided it would be far more awesome if they all took two or three hours to transform.

AUTOBOTS, TRANSFORM!

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNKSHH! (step 1 of 79)

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNKSHHH! (step 2 of 79)

Three hours later:

NNNNNNNNNNNKSHHHH! (Step 73 of 79)
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:36, archived)
# Hah
But then in the next scene they do an instant flip transformation and jet into the air, because it's cool to do that. Screw consistency.
(I helped save b3ta! Shada, Mon 30 Jul 2007, 13:41, archived)