A girl sang this into my answering machine once.at the time I thought it was hilarious and played it to all my friends. These days I just wish I could get that kind of action.
One of my mates is in a three-year relationship with her now.
(One of my mates is in a three-year relationship with her now.
gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:40,
archived)
i had a message oncefrom some unknown kid, crying and telling me that his tortoise was dead.
i still don't know who he was.
(i still don't know who he was.
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:41,
archived)
Late at night, when I was a little TOO out of it, I used to leave messages like this."Listen, I don't know your name, but I've just slept with your missus. I really think we should talk about it, call me on (good friend's phone number)."
( gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:45,
archived)
hahahaha!i learned a good one from watching Roseanne. i called some girl i hated, knowing that her husband had been on a business trip the previous weekend without her.
"hello, mrs. x? this is the receptionist at the (insert name here) hotel. our cleaner has found your black silk negligee in your room. would you like us to post it to you?"
("hello, mrs. x? this is the receptionist at the (insert name here) hotel. our cleaner has found your black silk negligee in your room. would you like us to post it to you?"
Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:49,
archived)
That reminds me of the time I went to a mates house (they had a rather Large Turtle)To be greeted at the door by his wife asking "Have you seen our turtle?"
With a confused look on my face I said "was he about this high?" With an 1/2"gap between my fingers indicating the height.
"No, he was rather large" She responded.
"Oh, thats a pity 'cos there is one this high (as previously mentioned), and thiiiis wide (making my arms link up into the biggest posible circle) just on the road over there!"
(it had been well fucked up by a car)
She cried.
I was not that popular that day.
(With a confused look on my face I said "was he about this high?" With an 1/2"gap between my fingers indicating the height.
"No, he was rather large" She responded.
"Oh, thats a pity 'cos there is one this high (as previously mentioned), and thiiiis wide (making my arms link up into the biggest posible circle) just on the road over there!"
(it had been well fucked up by a car)
She cried.
I was not that popular that day.
Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:51,
archived)
STICKBALL!WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO PLAY?
( gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:53,
archived)
woo to you, sir.second lol of the day!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet,
Sun 19 Aug 2007, 11:53,
archived)