I would suggest...
You are not actually attending a university. But instead you are incarcerated in a mental holspital.
all the things they tell you are just to keep you calm...
(
The magic of chutney Shakes it like an Instagram filter!,
Fri 16 Nov 2007, 17:30,
archived)
*Throws sink through window*
*escapes*
(
monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?,
Fri 16 Nov 2007, 17:34,
archived)
now you sound like a rockstar
(
discomeats This canoe,
Fri 16 Nov 2007, 17:37,
archived)