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# i'm still training the cat
it has learned that when i glare at it, it had better fucking run.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:46, archived)
# That is an important lesson.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:47, archived)
# it is currently learning what it's like
to spend the night outside after biting my finger.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:51, archived)
# aww poor kitty.
(I helped save b3ta! Aenesis, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:52, archived)
# poor kitty?
you should see my finger! teeth marks, man!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:55, archived)
# My cats liked to claw at my back.
they were evil.
(I helped save b3ta! Aenesis, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:57, archived)
# all cats are evil
it's part of what makes them cats.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:00, archived)
# My cat has learnt to run up the stairs really loudly and fast
then burst into the bedroom and say Hello in a really high pitched weirdy cat voice, in the middle of the night.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:49, archived)
# HELLO IS U ASLEEPS YET LOL JUS CHEKIN
*dashes away*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:51, archived)
# It also sleeps in my room
and breathes really loudly, almost snoring but not quite, despite the fact it must only have tiny catty lungs.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:54, archived)
# Cats are brill.
Give not a shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:55, archived)
# I've often wondered how much training and what methods you'd need
to train military grade attack cats. They are fairly intelligent, in that they basically don't give a shit if you tried to draft them, but if you managed to enrage and train them.
They'd be tiny, fast and impossible to shoot; then you could release millions into an enemy city.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:01, archived)
# Ceiling Cat'd be excellent for the CIA.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:02, archived)
# you don't need to train them
just drop them to within 3 feet of your enemy, then drop a water balloon on them. fun for all the family!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:04, archived)
# I'm not sure how logistically practical that is for an on-the-move army of today
Personally I think they are a lost cause and i'm working on making a horse whose skin is tortoise like plates.
WAR HORSE!

*is a massive pacifist really*
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:07, archived)
# you are a pacifist?
then you can never be a part of my new world!
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:10, archived)
# I'm not THAT much of a pacifist
When I can sit here ignoring the constant battles of society and civilisation, then yes I am.
Suddenly install an awful dictatorship and i'd be out there with a rapier fighting people to the death while making witty quips.

Literally that's one of the few reasons I don't just commit suicide.
*waits for new world order*
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:13, archived)
# ah, right.
you can be in charge of giving the henchmen nametags. only the ones with no names get killed by do-gooders.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:16, archived)
# I'm afraid you misunderstand me
I'd be the one fighting improbably against the dictatorship.
It would be I, with my witty quips and usual hatred of all humanity and society, which would CRUSH YOU!

I am Captain Cliched Englishman! I even speak like David Niven and everything.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:20, archived)
# ah.
then the game is afoot, mr. jeru.
*strokes cat*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:24, archived)
# *detonates bomb cat*
Checkmate.

And please, call me Leslie. Oh, you're a smoking charred corpse...well call me Nigel then.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:31, archived)
# CURSE YOU, NIGEL!!!!
I SHALL RETURN!

tomorrow. g'night!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:39, archived)
# they never say meow!
it's always some weird cat noise that is totally irritating!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:53, archived)
# Fun* Fact
Cats only meow, or rather make the high pitched meowing noises, at humans or in the presense of humans.
At other cats they'll either hiss, purr, snear, that kind of thing.

*may be lie
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:56, archived)
# i told her straight
either she learns to speak human or i'm not listening.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:59, archived)
# that sounds like a funcat.
 
PICS PLZ?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:19, archived)
# Hallo thar. I has a fantom of the opra mask.
I lieks your peirodic tabel.

(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:29, archived)
# eeeeeeee!
 
GRAINY TORTIE
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:44, archived)