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# My good friend

Mount Gay Rum and I have just watched The Royal Tenenbaums for the first time with my girlfriend.
It was bloody good!
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:36, archived)
# Dancing?
(I helped save b3ta! Green Spanner and his magical lack of activity, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:38, archived)
# Is that a squash?
I almost got one of those at the market yesterday, maybe next week.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:40, archived)
# Butternut squashes are awesome roasted.
Judging from the quality of them at the market, they're going out of season now though.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:43, archived)
# TJ
I found this. I never want to leave a chap uncredited.
www.b3ta.com/board/7167904
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:45, archived)
# That's pretty nice.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:48, archived)
# That's very impressive.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:49, archived)
# Utterly ace stuff
Woo
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:53, archived)
# Shove them in the coals when you are having a BBQ
Wrapped in foil but with a few bits sticking out so they can go black.
HEAVEN
Edit: They grow here all year round and are cheap as chips :)
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:04, archived)
# Also good in risottos,
especially with chorizo.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:05, archived)
# have you stolen
the draft to my new book "parenting the Zoot way" ?
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:06, archived)
# Explain
I have not referred to childrens.
*scratches head*
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:09, archived)
# sorry
I just saw "shove them in coals" and was away ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:10, archived)
# hahahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! Flowerpot No longer has the vapours thanks to DTH, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:11, archived)
# they make good soup
but they're shit at hoovering.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:43, archived)
# You need to spend more time training them.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:45, archived)
# i'm still training the cat
it has learned that when i glare at it, it had better fucking run.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:46, archived)
# That is an important lesson.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:47, archived)
# it is currently learning what it's like
to spend the night outside after biting my finger.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:51, archived)
# aww poor kitty.
(I helped save b3ta! Aenesis, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:52, archived)
# poor kitty?
you should see my finger! teeth marks, man!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:55, archived)
# My cats liked to claw at my back.
they were evil.
(I helped save b3ta! Aenesis, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:57, archived)
# all cats are evil
it's part of what makes them cats.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:00, archived)
# My cat has learnt to run up the stairs really loudly and fast
then burst into the bedroom and say Hello in a really high pitched weirdy cat voice, in the middle of the night.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:49, archived)
# HELLO IS U ASLEEPS YET LOL JUS CHEKIN
*dashes away*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:51, archived)
# It also sleeps in my room
and breathes really loudly, almost snoring but not quite, despite the fact it must only have tiny catty lungs.
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:54, archived)
# Cats are brill.
Give not a shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:55, archived)
# I've often wondered how much training and what methods you'd need
to train military grade attack cats. They are fairly intelligent, in that they basically don't give a shit if you tried to draft them, but if you managed to enrage and train them.
They'd be tiny, fast and impossible to shoot; then you could release millions into an enemy city.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:01, archived)
# Ceiling Cat'd be excellent for the CIA.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:02, archived)
# you don't need to train them
just drop them to within 3 feet of your enemy, then drop a water balloon on them. fun for all the family!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:04, archived)
# I'm not sure how logistically practical that is for an on-the-move army of today
Personally I think they are a lost cause and i'm working on making a horse whose skin is tortoise like plates.
WAR HORSE!

*is a massive pacifist really*
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:07, archived)
# you are a pacifist?
then you can never be a part of my new world!
BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:10, archived)
# I'm not THAT much of a pacifist
When I can sit here ignoring the constant battles of society and civilisation, then yes I am.
Suddenly install an awful dictatorship and i'd be out there with a rapier fighting people to the death while making witty quips.

Literally that's one of the few reasons I don't just commit suicide.
*waits for new world order*
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:13, archived)
# ah, right.
you can be in charge of giving the henchmen nametags. only the ones with no names get killed by do-gooders.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:16, archived)
# I'm afraid you misunderstand me
I'd be the one fighting improbably against the dictatorship.
It would be I, with my witty quips and usual hatred of all humanity and society, which would CRUSH YOU!

I am Captain Cliched Englishman! I even speak like David Niven and everything.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:20, archived)
# ah.
then the game is afoot, mr. jeru.
*strokes cat*
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:24, archived)
# *detonates bomb cat*
Checkmate.

And please, call me Leslie. Oh, you're a smoking charred corpse...well call me Nigel then.
(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:31, archived)
# CURSE YOU, NIGEL!!!!
I SHALL RETURN!

tomorrow. g'night!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:39, archived)
# they never say meow!
it's always some weird cat noise that is totally irritating!
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:53, archived)
# Fun* Fact
Cats only meow, or rather make the high pitched meowing noises, at humans or in the presense of humans.
At other cats they'll either hiss, purr, snear, that kind of thing.

*may be lie
(Jeru War and Piss, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:56, archived)
# i told her straight
either she learns to speak human or i'm not listening.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:59, archived)
# that sounds like a funcat.
 
PICS PLZ?
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:19, archived)
# Hallo thar. I has a fantom of the opra mask.
I lieks your peirodic tabel.

(Jeru War and Piss, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:29, archived)
# eeeeeeee!
 
GRAINY TORTIE
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:44, archived)
# less talk
more suck.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:46, archived)
# me
or the hoover?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:50, archived)
# You need training?
what the fuck kind of agency have I employed here? ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:54, archived)
# me love you long time ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:56, archived)
# you will be out the
fucking door after a bacon butty like everyone else Miss;)
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:59, archived)
# yay!
middle bacon, i hope
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:06, archived)
# now you have just given me the idea to make you all fight for it.
now then. How to get 'you all' out of my mind and into my home without the wife murdering me.
I'll take suggestions.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:09, archived)
# Pokéballs.
(I helped save b3ta! Cae1, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:11, archived)
# No, he needs to get them in before they can poke his balls.
(I helped save b3ta! my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:12, archived)
# ^this
or you could hide us and sneak us in. have you got a size 78 coat?
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:14, archived)
# I think
waiting for holidays is safer. Are you free in April? She's off to the Mann Isles with the boy.
(I helped save b3ta! Pasanonic 's been known to cause insanity in laboratory mice, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:23, archived)
# i'm never free
but i'm often available ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:26, archived)
# I made soup this evening
Caulliflower + Broccoli, twas very nice!
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:51, archived)
# cauliflower makes it bitty :(
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:54, archived)
# I like chunky soup,
the bittier the better.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:06, archived)
# last time i made soup with cauli in it
it went down as if it was coming up :x
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:09, archived)
# CHAKA CHAKA PATA PON!


(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:47, archived)
# Great innit.
I'm hooked!
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:53, archived)
# totally

(I helped save b3ta! pzyko Query failed., Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:05, archived)
# Conan the Destroyer
a sinister late night tickle
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:41, archived)
# I'm now onto father ted.
Conan is a bit cheesy for my current state of mind.
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:43, archived)
# He just punched a camel unconscious
I can think of no sillier method to sleep :)
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:45, archived)
# It tends to work quite well with my kids...
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:55, archived)
# You need some extra big zip-lock bags.
Keep them lovely and fresh.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:56, archived)
# CAMEL BUKKAKE
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:48, archived)
#
*drinks*
;)
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:50, archived)
# I am smoking
and thinking about beddy byes.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:54, archived)
# I am considering
whether to smoke or drink some more rum, maybe both?
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:56, archived)
# I have rum
but it's strictly for use with the lovely coffee that my mate grinds. He's a GOD when it comes to coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:01, archived)
# I have a lovely Kiwi lady
who I buy my coffee from at the weekend, she's a diamond!
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:04, archived)
# Dancing beverages!
(I helped save b3ta! Scrambled Edd www.eddsworld.co.uk, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:42, archived)
# Needs more booooze
*drinks*
(Cakie Rose from the dead on, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:45, archived)
# MORE DANCING
(I helped save b3ta! Scrambled Edd www.eddsworld.co.uk, Sun 24 Feb 2008, 23:46, archived)
# These are both slightly fucking rah
Woo
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:06, archived)
# FASTA!
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 0:14, archived)