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[challenge entry] That did not go as well as I had envisioned

From the New Logos For Old challenge. See all 549 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:40, archived)
# ahhhahhahah.
It is swill, to be sure.

WHY IS AUSTRALIAN BEER LIKE MAKING LOVE IN A CANOE
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:47, archived)
# I don't know...
Why is Australian beer like making love in a canoe?
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:49, archived)
# 'cause it's fucking close to water!
 
/ancient joke
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:50, archived)
# *bludgeons to death with empty James Boag bottle*
*rapes bloodied corpse*
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:52, archived)
# *enjoys, posthumously*
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:53, archived)
# help yourself to a badge in the profile.
this will make you official member #2.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:55, archived)
# balls.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_WRFJwGsbY

that joke is told as an intro immediately BEFORE this clip starts.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:52, archived)
# it's simple
we keep the good stuff for ourselves, and send you stupid pommy bastards the rubbish stuff.

Although you haven't had bad aussie beer until you've had XXXX
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:53, archived)
# to be fair the mainstream New Zealand beers are pretty fucking unpleasant, too.
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:54, archived)
# I have only ever had stienlager, which I thought to be not a bad drop actually
what are the other brands?
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:57, archived)
# pretty much anything brewed by Lion is awful.
also typically quite weak, alcohol-wise.
They have the licenses for Speights (originally Dunedin) and Mac's (Nelson), which taste like crap compared to the South Island originals.
Likewise Dominion Breweries (DB) have their leader pisswater, DB Export, and the license for the Monteith's (Greymouth).
The various independent breweries typically offer a better flavour, but I still drink Mac's and Monteith's.
I AM NOT SAYING I ENJOY IT ALL THAT MUCH
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:11, archived)
# isnt a NZ brewery the owner of a fair few aussie brands now?
sorry about calling you a pommy bastard. when you actually seem to be a kiwi bastard!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:57, archived)
# Fosters is brewed in the UK
I read the can once
(I helped save b3ta! Furness, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:54, archived)
# is it?! hahahahaha no wonder its terrible
i havent actually had fosters, i havent seen it in an aussie pub.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:56, archived)
# or VB
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:54, archived)
# or tooheys new
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:58, archived)
# Oi!
I grew up on tooheys new and still drink it in pubs.
My choices for the home fridge are a little more refined though:)
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:59, archived)
# you can't claim "refined tastes" if your tounge has been eaten away by new all these years
/carlton drinker
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:01, archived)
# hahahahahaaa!
a carlton drinker.
Say no more.
(I helped save b3ta! Sir Pigeon Nipples Did you sit in some sugar?, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:04, archived)
# hey it's my wallet governs my taste in beer
i love my student discounts on jugs of CD, while everyone else pays $3 more for jugs of farted in bath water tooheys
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:12, archived)
# nasty stuff
as is that Carlton Midstrentgh crap that serve up at the G. No one could stomach enough to get drunk enough to cause any trouble after that.

*edit* mind you, the same goes for the Tui and Export Gold shit they serve at stadiums over here
(I helped save b3ta! deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:01, archived)
# you're better to not drink anything (not even water) and sit in the sun
by the end of a days cricket, you'll be dehydrated and appear drunk. Better than you can ever get on midstrength. Although I like carlton draught off the tap.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:04, archived)
# blaaarrrrggghhh yes I forgot to mention Tui.
 
blaarrrrrrrggggghhhhh
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 2:32, archived)
# you're all over the place
everyone is getting wet
then some twat in a high-vis vest comes past you and tells you you're doing it wrong
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:50, archived)