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# He kicked heroin.
That's quite a talent.
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:10, archived)
# I kicked a tramp, where's MY fucking TV show?
Eh?
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:10, archived)
# I'm the head of the BBC and I'd like to give you a show.
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:11, archived)
# I'm sorry, I'm a heroin addict.
Would you like to see my balls?
Mebbe?
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:12, archived)
# That depends.
Can they do tricks?
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:14, archived)
# The left one plays the clarinet.
The right just dangles there, he's a lazy cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:16, archived)
# Can we put some kind of hat on him
or make him perform challenges? Is it marketable?
(I helped save b3ta! Lightguy hail satan, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:19, archived)
# Tell ya what..
I'll teach him to play the bugle and ice-skate, we can call it 'Look At Me Remarkable Skating/Bugle Playing Knackers'.

Now, I can't say fairer than that.
Or can I?

No.
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:23, archived)
# You are Alan Davies
and you aready have several
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:14, archived)
# You're Stephen Fry.
I suppose we have to screw now, eh?
Eh?
(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:15, archived)
# Don't tell mrs S though
she loves Davies.

it'll break her heart to found out he's a woofter
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:28, archived)
# Stephen's hung like a catapult, who could resist?

(I helped save b3ta! (|D[ekionplexis B3ta.com: fictional child porn is OK, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:30, archived)
# wow
he started taking it, then stopped

that's the best skill ever! :D
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:12, archived)
# Well,
I managed - wait for it - not to start taking the stuff in the first place!

I can haz tv show and fawning biography?
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:15, archived)
# lol!
not only do I not consume that stuff

I also don't even have a drink problem!

hah! a large cheque please, mr bbc
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:18, archived)
# there's an argument that that doesn't really display any strength.
did someone threaten you with a sword ordering you to take it? did you overpower them? using only your own will power?

you're awesome
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:19, archived)
# no it isn't
that would mean Davina McCall was talented as well

it's clearly not the case
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 19 Mar 2008, 16:44, archived)