b3ta.com board
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Messageboard » Uxbridge English » Message 8346891

[challenge entry] ning

From the Uxbridge English challenge. See all 639 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! op op op op op I stink therfore I spam, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:07, archived)
# Hahaha!
Just bumped into a mate this morning. She had to cut off someone at the bar she worked as as he was too pissed so he tried to smash a bottle over her head. Hard man! Trying to bottle a petite 4' 8" girl!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:13, archived)
#
4' 8" can still be dangerous, especially on various 'substances'

One of them tried to clock me with a cue ball.
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:17, archived)
# Well if you will give them step ladders!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# i didn't!!! honest...she stumbled over to our pool table. Cried a lot.
Went back to her mates. Then had a dummy spit came back again swiped our balls (off the pool table), grabed the white and as I was giving her directions to leave, lobbed it in my general direction. Lucky (for both of us) it didn't connect...
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# That's a prime example of why men not being allowed to hit girls first is a pile of bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# not really I didn't have a clue what was going one untill a lump was hurtling towards me
well to lumps actually, my mate was getting in position to stop my rampage if it connected...

I feel kinda sorry for some poeple on drugs, they might be quite nice otherwise. but then the other bit of me thinks they're fuckwits...
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:44, archived)
# Pissheads are generally cunts.
I don't know anyone who isn't either annoying or aggressive when really smashed.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# I'm frightfully witty and charming
when drunk
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:19, archived)
# When drunk
but what about when you're past that stage?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:20, archived)
# He's like a zombie heading towards the kebab shop:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:22, archived)
# aaaaah don't eat me I'm innocent!!!
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:25, archived)
# My local kebab shop has shut...
I now have no take away options on the way home...
(I helped save b3ta! Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:26, archived)
# Yeah aparantly he was quite a large built buildertype.
By the time he left the pub he had become barstaff and customers punching bag:D
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:21, archived)
# Yeah, not the best way to get a crowd to like you.
My parents met in the pub they both worked in- my mum was managing and my dad was the cellarman. She's tiny, he's massive, and very protective. I think he beat the shite out of a couple of lads who tried it on with her.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:23, archived)
# Why it it
Very big guys end up gongi out with very small girlies?
My ex was 14" shorter than I am:p
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:24, archived)
# Well speaking from down here
5ft10 and above is really what I go for as I like to feel protected. Possibly because I don't really need to be.


But then girlies I like to be short. Short and curvaceous.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:27, archived)
# Yeah and I think tall guys like to be protective.
PlusI think the snuggle factor in relation to limbs and limbjoins is a lot more compatible with a height difference.
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# I have to have a chest to put my head on.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:34, archived)
# You take your head off and put it at the end of your bed!
*fears*
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# *hums imperial march*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:46, archived)
# I am double the weight of my woman
She is a little petite thing.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:32, archived)
# Hah, I'll never be half the weight of the man.
Unless he puts on quite a lot of poundage. Suprisingly heavy, I am. I mean, I'm not saying I'm skinny, I'm not, but I still don't look as heavy as I am by any stretch.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:33, archived)
# I'm the complete opposite.
I've often theorised that I must be mainly composed of hydrogen to account for my light footedness.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:36, archived)
# Swap, it's much more fitting for you to be heavy than me.
I'd gladly lose some of the strength in my legs if it meant I lost some of the weight associated with.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:37, archived)
# I am just super super sturdy (and quite fat)
It's a combination of Weightlifting and pie eating. I gained 1.5 stone at the gym! Just can't help it. But heck, god made us all perfect, who am i to complain.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:39, archived)
# Are you like me? Put on muscle really easily?
I have to be careful what exercises I do otherwise I just start to pile on bulk and get my Chyna shoulders back.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:40, archived)
# Yeah, totally.
My forearms are bigger than most of my mate's biceps :-D.

My thighs are each the width of the Lady's waist.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:43, archived)
# It's why I do so much yoga, stops me bulking.
It's ok for you, you don't look silly with big muscles.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:46, archived)
# Heh, yeah.
I used to do tai chi, i liked that, nice and slooow. But now it's all weights, swimming and boxing the bag.

Glee.
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:48, archived)
# Oh I miss boxing.
and rugby. Fucking joints, I'd kill myself if I went back onto both of them or indeed either with the same vigour.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:49, archived)
# Pass.
I prefer to be light and agile than be a hulking monolith, plus being swift and graceful is more fitting for a gentleman.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:41, archived)
# *hulks
*sulks
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:43, archived)
# That's alright, we'll sit on him one day.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:44, archived)
# glee
crotch or face crotch or face. Tough choices
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:45, archived)
# I should add that someone tried sitting on my chest once.
I flicked my legs up and locked them round his throat.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:46, archived)
# Yeah but that was one person
and that one person wasn't me or Saccharine.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:48, archived)
# It was you, I then had perverted sex with you and wiped your memory.
It also explains why beans now make you wince.
(Jeru War and Piss, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:50, archived)
# Well that's highly unfair.
You rotter.

Also, I now have to go back to the grindstone, which is being VERY exfoliating today. Hmph.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:51, archived)
# We've got a ninja on our hands
get the sturdy police!
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:48, archived)
# *big meaty high five*
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:49, archived)
# hah
i don't think you really count as meaty anymore m'dear.

But hi5 none the less.

*thunderclap of awesome hi-5age
(I helped save b3ta! lordsaccharine b3taing is well retro mate, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:54, archived)
# haven't done that yet
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Tue 6 May 2008, 12:16, archived)
# OK in you're case babysham:P
*glees at yesterday's left over BBQ fudz*
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Tue 6 May 2008, 12:18, archived)