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# I'm half crazy
me balls are turning blue
I can't afford a condom
a plastic bag'll do
and you'll look sweet
Upon the seat
With meeeee on top of yoooou

Yay for one of the few songs I've known since the age of five.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:25, archived)
# a plastic bag? classy
we use crisp bags round my gaff
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:26, archived)
# You're in with the high rollers now, love
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:27, archived)
# my dad told me this at age 9
In days of old when men were bold
and women weren't invented
they bored a hole
in a telegraph pole
and had to be contented.

He also told me I should learn to breath through my ears when I was 7...
(k3b/-\b Peace man., Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:27, archived)
# was there a practical reason for breathing through your ears?
*calls childline*
(I helped save b3ta! MontyyouterribleCUNT I gave Jeremy Kyle cancer, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:34, archived)
# Pfft! That's a bit more advanced than my childhood songs
I remember a version of "The lion sleeps tonight" that started "In the jungle, George and Bungle"

I cant remember anymore but I believe "Jeffery farted, an earthquake started"
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:30, archived)
# Zippy and Bungle went to the jungle
To have lots and lots of fun
Zippy got silly
and pulled off his willy
and stuck it up Bungle's bum.



Me and my classmates were excellent. Yay for posh kids.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:32, archived)
# I am out of my depth here, the only thing we had close to that was
Micky Mouse
In his house
Pulling down his trousers
Quick Mum
Smack his bum
That's the end of part one

(there was no part 2, but i'm sure it would have involved "poo")
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:36, archived)
# my name is coco and i live in a tree
i sell condoms for 35p
when they're used i put them in a box
they're only free with coco pops
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:40, archived)
# I've never heard that one before, ever!
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:44, archived)
# i'm not sure if i made up or not
i probably didn't
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:46, archived)
# Indicate the path to my abode
I'm fatigued and I wish to retire
I partook of liquid refreshment 60 minutes ago,
And it's gone straight to my cerefenfeniculum,
Wherever I may perambulate,
Near land or sea or agitated water,
You will always hear me humming this melodium,
"Indicate the path to my abode."

Beat that for posh.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:45, archived)
# *strikes match for huge cigar off the head of Zara Philips*
Hmm?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 10:54, archived)
# *Receives head from Zara Philips*
Oh, nothing - nothing.
(I helped save b3ta! Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 25 Jun 2008, 11:09, archived)