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# Puny female brayne I may have, sire
but were you to tarry a while 'neath my gown thou wouldst find things of a feminine nature less puny in size.

Or: something less flirtatious like 'Grr Dave, you are mischief incarnate, be nice or I shall take you over my knee'.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:43, archived)
# What, you've got a massive fanny?
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:45, archived)
# thingS.
We do tend to only have one each.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:46, archived)
# You have a massive fanny and clitoris then!
Also surely the fanny refers to the entire system including walls and cervix thus would logically be a plural.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:47, archived)
# Vulva. Singular.
Or at least, that's how I see it. You don't say a digestive system is plural, because you're taking into account all parts as a whole. I think it's open to interpretation.

Anyway, shush.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:49, archived)
# *spunkeths*
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:45, archived)
# Points for understanding plurals.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:47, archived)
# *reads* *parses* *blinks*
you've got a massive minge?
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:46, archived)
# You're as fucking bad as the other one.
How many vulvas do most girls have?

You should know better n'all. Having met a few.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:46, archived)
# reminds me of a girl i know.
we call her KFC because she's got a family-size bucket.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:48, archived)
# I don't understand how it's possible.
Don't all girls do PC exercises?
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:50, archived)
# not her.
she's been had by every bouncer in the area, sometimes 2 at once.
and yes, i mean 2 at the front at once.
plus a baseball bat, or so i've heard.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:52, archived)
# *crosses legs instinctively*
I know it's stretchy n'all, but no. Fucking hell.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:53, archived)
# i know.
she's a right slag.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:58, archived)
# we know an albert hall
because she can fit a penis, a 5000 strong audience and the london philoharmonic orchestra
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:51, archived)
# heheheh
like throwing a chipolata up an aircraft hangar.
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:54, archived)
# i hven't the faintest idea what a vulva is, in all honesty
i don't need to know the name of all the bits to have an idea what to do with them
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:50, archived)
# I'd say a 'minge' (terrible word, bad man)
would be a vulva, so the entire ladyparts package. Of which I only have the one. Were I Jake the Peg I might have more.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:51, archived)
# i find horrible words for ladybits funny
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:55, archived)
# Pussy's the best word.
After all, it's a lovely thing, it should be called something nice.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:57, archived)
# They sometimes call it a kitty in America, which to me seems like a logical conclusion too far.
That just sounds weird and childish, like you are trying to interfere with prepubescents or something.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:58, archived)
# better than calling it a kebab
(I helped save b3ta! Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:01, archived)
# Most British men are very disrespectful of it
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:03, archived)
# Yes, that would be a little too far for me.
You may as well just call it your Polly Pocket and be done with it.

Not yours, of course. One's.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:02, archived)
# I think the weirdest I ever heard was 'secret pocket'.
Although in fairness that was in some strange comic where a kid had found an inflatable love doll and was pretending it was a female ninja.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:04, archived)
# its a very lovely thing
but being rude is funny. i don't like the word pussy though, i don't feel black enough to say it
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:03, archived)
# I only say it in the heat of the moment, really.
Ahem.

Otherwise I'd feel a bit silly.

Call it a minge around me though (not mine, obviously, just anyone's) and I reserve the right to glower at you.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:04, archived)
# i only ever use the word minge when accompanied by 'massive'
the two work nicely together. i think i just tend to call it 'ladybits' if i need to talk about it at all
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:11, archived)
# Quim.
Now that's a good one.

Especially shouted at the top of one's lungs.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:05, archived)
# Also horrid, in my opinion.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:06, archived)
# That's surely the point.
If you shouted lady garden it wouldn't have quite the same comic impact.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:08, archived)
# I don't tend to shout things about vulvas.
The worst word for them would be 'clunge' if I did.
(I helped save b3ta! Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:09, archived)
# I still think vulva just sounds weird, like some terrible make of spaceship in a distant galaxy.
Clout is another particularly blunt one, but they are both too onomatopoeic to be easily misconstrewed as clean.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 15:11, archived)
# I think the vulva is the bit which looks like a regurgitating bird.
And the labia is/are the bits which look like folds of left over meat.

Actually scratch that, I have no idea what you call the insidey regurgitey bit.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 21 Aug 2008, 14:51, archived)