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# zombies are just chav vampires
they are bitten and as they cannot speak correctly anyway, just go hrrrrrrrrrrrrr
(I helped save b3ta! Tyronne Get To Falkirk, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 7:57, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
*chalks up a point*
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 7:58, archived)
# If I went vampire I'd just be cashing in on a shitty subculture that I don't want to encourage.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:00, archived)
# Also: society wouldn't accept a bunch of factory slaves with porphyria.
If they're mindless it's not so much of an issue.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:02, archived)
# true, the only good vampire stories these days
are friggin metaphorical up to here.
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:03, archived)
# Awww, why ever not?
They're so cute with that "I want to die and live forever".
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:04, archived)
# I wanna read a story
about vampire suicide clubs
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:06, archived)
# you know
like those bunnies
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:07, archived)
# I FUCKING WILL FUCKING MAKE A FUCKING FORTUNE.
Just relabel a case of baseball bats and print up instructions.

Follow these easy steps to becoming a vampire
1. Hit self with bat.
2. repeat, rinse, and apply bat until dead dead dead.
(I helped save b3ta! Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:10, archived)
# no, I meant for actual vampires
it must be quite difficult to hammer a stake into your own heart, let alone cut your head off afterwards.
(Lieutenant Colonel Oblivious brought to you by intravenous sugar, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 8:26, archived)