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# I have a permanent black mark on my United States Homeland security record
for the attempted smuggling of 14 cigarettes.
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:54, archived)
# That must make you a high profile target. :D
The Border guys at Newark are the most evil, petty sons of bitches the world has known.
(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:56, archived)
# They're bloody awful there, aren't they? I even had one guy ask me what my star sign was to try and catch me out, I though "what are you a fucking bouncer in glastonbury?"
The smuggling story was at Houston air port when I was 20. I was flying on a connecting flight from London to vancouver changing plancs in texas (crazy I know, but it worked out cheapest), I got pulled to one side and they asked if they could have a look in my bag. I thought "well sure, I'm fairly certain I haven't put a bomb in it"
now... they said the search was at random, but I had long hair a beard and a lip piercing at the time so I've got my suspicions...
anyway, they confiscated the two bottles of pimms i'd bought in england for my friend in canada, because I was under 21, they let me off with a warning though, "because it was an accident". Not only that, but the limit for fags is 200. I had a brick and an open packet. being over the legal age limit for smoking I'm assumed to know better than to bring in any amount over the legal limit, so "sorry sir, but that is in breach of the USA customs regulations. You will have to forfeit that contraband and a formal note will be made against your passport"
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:07, archived)
# haha that's incredible
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:10, archived)
# bizarre innit?
the only good bit is that I am statistically more piratical than anyone else I know
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)
# the downside is
that the FBI have read this message and are considering how much funds to allot to your imminent capture and indefinite imprisonment.
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
# you're lucky it wasn't an episode of Neighbours
they would have made you sit down and chain smoke all of them until you didn't ever want to see a cigarette again!
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:11, archived)
# Toadfish lols!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:17, archived)
# Ah, the United States of we can enforce
whatever the fuck we like, 'cos we're all armed.
I had a real gem coming back through JFK, with a big shoulder bag in which i had my PC and my Mac laptops. This was evidently in contravention of something or other, as they guy after the x-ray tunnel took all my carry on stuff apart down the molecular level, and me down to my fucking scuddies and t-shirt. Top humiliation skills, that man.

(I helped save b3ta! J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:14, archived)
# shitting christ :( thats not on at all :(
thats awful
(I helped save b3ta! Tom OBedlam I have control of a tank, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:22, archived)
# Yeah
They don't like fags in Texas:P
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:18, archived)
# I once got pulled at Australian customs
for attempted cheese smuggling!

Do you know what they do to cheese smugglers in ozzy prisons?
(I helped save b3ta! Prof UnderCover evitable, Wed 3 Jun 2009, 9:57, archived)
# grill them?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Wed 3 Jun 2009, 10:20, archived)