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# HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I'M IN JAIL
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 0:58, archived)
# Would you like my "Get out of Jail - Free" card?
I won it in a Monopoly game about twenty years ago. I was thinking that might come in handy one day
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:00, archived)
# I'M GONNA STAY HERE, I LIKE IT HERE
I LIKE IT! YEAH, THROW AWAY THE KEY, I'M IN JAIL!
HELLO DAD, I'M IN JAIL!

actually I used my one free pass when I was a kid
although reading the police brochure about it I might be able to get off again but really I find it best to stay the fuck out of trouble
www.police.govt.nz/service/diversion/index.html
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:07, archived)
# DO YOU WISH TO COMPLETE THE AGREED CONDITIONS?
(I helped save b3ta! BargeArse Maker of fine Trouser Trumpets since 1863, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:12, archived)
# heh. been there ...
i wouldn't count on second chances at diversion.

they've got my prints now too
(I helped save b3ta! deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:14, archived)
# yeah, not sure how well "I'm only doing this because I need counselling" really runs as an argument
 
also: GLOVES
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:15, archived)
# haha
and YES
(I helped save b3ta! deodar ant trois minutes douche compris, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:16, archived)
# THIS MURDER WAS A DESPERATE CRY FOR HELP
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:22, archived)
# I WAS PROVOKED
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:23, archived)
# PROVOKED INTO NEEDING COUNSELLING THAT'S WHY I DONE A MURDER
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:24, archived)
# HEY DAD, HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I'M IN JAIL
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan @vomitinglarry.bsky.social, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:04, archived)
# JAIL! JAIL! HI, DAD
(I helped save b3ta! Rapitinui get in the cage and I'll give you a treat, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:08, archived)
# I'M IN JAIL AND I LIKE IT
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:19, archived)
# I'M IN JAIL COZ I DID A CHRISTIAN BALE,
YOU GET SCARS,
LIVIN' BEHIND IRON BARS.
ALL DAY AN ALL NIGHT IT GOES,
EAT, FIGHT, SMOKE,
I SAID EAT, FIGHT, SMOKE,
THE ONLY RULE IS DON'T DROP THE MOTHERFUCKIN' SOAP.
UNLESS YOU'RE GAY,
BITCH, THEN DROP AWAY.
(I helped save b3ta! monkdagola but how do you TURN a phrase?, Wed 12 Aug 2009, 1:24, archived)