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[challenge entry] The Immaculate Adoption.


Yes, yes very good. We we all know it was Mary and not Jesus that was conceived immaculately, but this is just a joke.
No, YOU fuck off.

From the Modernise the Bible challenge. See all 404 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:53, archived)
# Needs more brown baby
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:54, archived)
# I'll get the paint
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:54, archived)
# mellow mocha should do
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:55, archived)
# Erm, Mary was not conceived immaculately,
it was Jesus.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:54, archived)
# No, Mary was conceived without the taint of original sin so that she would be pure enough to be the mother of Jesus.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:55, archived)
# That's what they say
but I reckon she was a filthy slut
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:56, archived)
# Except that none of it happened, obviously.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:56, archived)
# Are you the Archbishop of B3ta?
*bashes*
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:57, archived)
# basically they're pretty sure she'd not taken it in the wrongun before Jeebers was born
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:57, archived)
# The virgin birth is a completely seperate idea to the immaculate conception.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:58, archived)
# and "the impressive sneeze" how do you explain that one?
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:59, archived)
# Cayenne pepper.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:01, archived)
# fair enough
where do I sign up?
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:06, archived)
# I don't know what this has to do with her perineum.
plus, surely if she was born without a taint, her guts would fall out?
(I helped save b3ta! drbroon abloooobloobloo, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:57, archived)
# thelology.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:58, archived)
# Eh?
I am confused....
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:59, archived)
# Yes.
You're mixing up the virgin birth (Jesus getting popped out) and the immaculate conception (Mary not getting blamed for Adam and Eve like the rest of us are for some fucking reason.)
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:00, archived)
# Ah ok.
What a shit Catholic I am :D
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:03, archived)
# They just don't teach it properly any more.
Which is probably all for the best. People are far more likely to show up every week and throw a few quid in the plate if they don't know precisely how mental it all is.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:04, archived)
# Mary was the "immaculate conception."
It means she was concieved without the stain of original sin. Then she had Jesus, and he was a virgin birth. Not the same thing.
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:01, archived)
#
I can't believe I'm talking catholic theology on b3ta.

NOBS! WILLLIES! BOOBIES!
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:02, archived)
# Well nobs and willies
are a big part of Catholic indoctrination ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:03, archived)
# What does that even mean?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:03, archived)
# The concept of original sin is that all babies are born evil.
This is because of the fall of Adam and Eve.
Baptism is required to wash away the evil.
Mary, however, had never been evil.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:05, archived)
# And who cares?
(I helped save b3ta! Crystal Magnet Like a diamond geezer, but better, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:06, archived)
# How was she conceived without original sin?
Turkey baster?
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:16, archived)
# That would have involved masturbation, which we all know is far worse than fucking.
Unless it was fucking without being married.
(I helped save b3ta! Quijibo Esq. BSc. May contain traces of nuts, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:27, archived)
# Oh I really didn't think that through
Whoops!
(I helped save b3ta! Barbarossa is not my real name, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:31, archived)
# Pah
Wait until they study it more closely and realise it said "ejaculate conception"
(Cloudane, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 13:42, archived)
# hahaha!
seams begone! *magicks*
(theswollenbeef where there's a will there's a wank, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 11:56, archived)
# baby cankles!
(I helped save b3ta! PedroHin Come along & ride on a Flantastic Voyage, Fri 25 Sep 2009, 12:30, archived)