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[challenge entry] Repost for Compo.


'In 1939, The Dutch Inventor Mediocre tripped over and landed in a bowl of hot washing. “It was really annoying,” said the maniacal creator of worlds, “I used to be 6 foot tall, but now, and what a lot of people don’t know, is that I am only actually 17 1/16 inches tall.”

“I was so pissed off with the cunting laundry that I decided to wage war on Poland. I was actually with my mate Adolf at the time. He said that I should calm down and sleep on it, but I was so enraged that I told him to fuck off. In retrospect, that was a bit harsh as he was a lovely man, and had only just got a new tattoo. It was of a Sanskrit word meaning Lucky.

“Anyway, as I was so little, nobody saw me start it all, so they blamed poor old Adie. Oh well....”'

From the How History Was Faked challenge. See all 248 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:36, archived)
# Hah!:D
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:38, archived)
# I really never thought that any of these would
ever be applicable to a compo. But it seems I have a few ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:41, archived)
# I hope they're all like this...
you know, more plausible than the real events.
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:47, archived)
# I dunno, I don't know where I saved the pics of him to make more pics, not just stories :(
*continues campaign of slanderous abuse*

In 1983, the Dutch Inventor Mediocre invented Grand Prix Racing. "You see," the terrifying sociopath said, "there was this fella in a bar one day who sat down in my favourite seat. I found out that his name was Ayrton Senna, and I wanted to find a way that I could off him and no-one would ever suspect me. So I invented Grand Prix and waited. 11 years later, I put a banana skin on the Tamburello corner at Imola."

"That will teach the bastard for stealing my seat!"
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:49, archived)
# **snort**
Should be the Alternate Compo this week. :P
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:57, archived)
# NO!
www.b3ta.com/board/9743596

I am the only one allowed to tell the tales, as I am the only one who knows the truth!
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 0:00, archived)
# Well yeah, you'd win
but it'd be like a game of balderdash. People vote for the story they find most believable. Knowing B3tans, it'd be something to do with kittens and battenburg, or a combination of the two...
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 0:06, archived)
# You miss the point.
No-one but me is ALLOWED to tell the stories.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 0:08, archived)
# On pain of what now? :P
Or do you just want the rest of us to be spared the lynching you'll get when M comes back? :o
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 0:21, archived)
# Well he gave me permission,
and I wouldn't want to be the instigator of him becoming a meme when he isn't here to defend himself.
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 0:25, archived)
# that's mental
and i mean that in a good way :)
(polished turd 404 pixels wide, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:44, archived)
# No,
HE is mental.

*feels free to abuse Mediocre as much as possible as he is on holiday* ;)
(I helped save b3ta! Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:49, archived)