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This weirdly reminds me of a track by Ten Sharp that came out waay years ago.

And also a lot of 70s soul jazz.

It's crying out for a vocal or a sax line- you should audition a sax player or something. Edit: a spoken word comes in later (too late IMHO)

Drums need more variation but you know that.

But I found myself listening to all of it without effort and that's a good thing.

I look forward to seeing where it leads!
 (I helped save b3ta! colmcq2, Thu 16 Apr 2020, 8:59, Reply)
This is a normal post Cheers!
Good pointers there. I will definitely put the spoken word sample earlier (if at all). The sax won't happen, sorry, but I will look into adding another layer
 (I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Thu 16 Apr 2020, 9:34, Reply)
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it just needs that final layer of interest. the spoken word thing will work but not as well as something melodic.

The final melody layer is always the hardest in my experience.
 (I helped save b3ta! colmcq2, Thu 16 Apr 2020, 13:59, Reply)
This is a normal post I've sent the mixdown to a mate
that's handy with a guitar (when I say handy, I mean virtuoso, I hope he has time for this..)
 (I helped save b3ta! c_kick or, as some people call him, Thu 16 Apr 2020, 21:31, Reply)