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This is a normal post Hahahaha OMFG
Hummm... I feel a poll coming on...

Baruk...
Mini poll bar
Mini poll bar
Mini poll bar
Mini poll bar
 (I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:16, Reply)
This is a normal post Ooo you're some cold bastards out there!

(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)
This is a normal post With girlfriend
but proper munter, I'm feeling generous today!
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:27, Reply)
This is a normal post fat, twice-divorcee in her fifties
with bleached hair, a gunt and a prolapsed fanny. She wears leggings and shops in Asda (Smart Price range only).
She has 4 kids by 3 different men, and they only come round when they want money for booze and drugs. They steal from Baruk but he says nothing for fear of reprisals. Baruk hates his life, but does not have the confidence or money to do anything about it. Baruk occasionally visits his widowed mum in the hospice. Girlfriend never comes with him. He is secretly glad of that. He cries quietly to himself on the bus on the way home. He has a part-time job in Comet but has been warned for leering at the female employees.
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:36, Reply)
This is a normal post this is my life
are you my stalker?

that prolapsed fanny though, the things i can get in there....
 (I helped save b3ta! Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:41, Reply)
This is a normal post there is so much to carry round these days!
phone, wallet, keys, ipod, tissues, rohypnol, balaclava

it's a shame that handbags for men are so unfashionable, still at least you have a solution!
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:44, Reply)
This is a normal post hahahahaha
yeah, it er, comes in handy...
 (I helped save b3ta! Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:45, Reply)
This is a normal post What's a "gunt" ?

(I helped save b3ta! JamTallons, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:42, Reply)
This is a normal post prepare yourself
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gunt
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:46, Reply)
This is a normal post a lot of women have a bit of a bulge in this area
i thought it was because it was where the baby making equipment was?
 (I helped save b3ta! Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:53, Reply)
This is a normal post well yes, I guess
but after babby is made, there are the pelvic floor muscle exercises to perform!
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:54, Reply)
This is a normal post but the bit between the pubic mound and the tummy
isn't the pelvic floor shurely.

gotta dash. thanks for this great thread!!
 (I helped save b3ta! Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:56, Reply)
This is a normal post This made me sad.
Poor Baruk.
 (I helped save b3ta! t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:07, Reply)
This is a normal post If you like, I can make him win the lottery
and get his self-esteem back
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:21, Reply)
This is a normal post yes please!
And get off with a lingerie model and live on a yacht.
 (I helped save b3ta! t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:28, Reply)
This is a normal post fuck that
he's not getting a better life than mine.

How about...

On his way home from Comet one night, Baruk spotted an job advert in an agency window for a warehouse operative. He felt he could do that, so applied and got the job!

Six months later he had a new circle of friends and managed to save up a bit of money and secretly moved out of the flat he shared with his girlfriend and started up a new life a few miles away. He was now living on his own, but was very happy.

Shortly afterwards his mother died in the hospice. Her funeral was a quiet but dignified affair. Baruk inherited enough money to put a deposit on a 2 bedroom terrace house which allowed him to get to know his neighbours. He struck up a friendship with a plain but friendly woman about the same age as his. She lived 2 doors down. Her name is Susan. He did odd-jobs for her, she cooked him meals.

As time went on, their friendship became stronger until one night they kissed. They kissed for hours. They couldn't keep their hands off each other.

They now spend their weekends attending fantasy role-play events and are both happy, if cautious about the future.

Baruk has been promoted to a supervisor position at the warehouse. He has bought a small car and is planning his first ever foreign holiday with his new girlfriend. He never thinks about his ex.
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:05, Reply)
This is a normal post Yes!
Good for Baruk. See, life as a German role playing odd bod isn't so bad really, is it?!
 (I helped save b3ta! t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30, Reply)
This is a normal post his life is in my hands

(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:38, Reply)
This is a normal post hahaha
you've been having an affair with her haven't you?
 (I helped save b3ta! Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:26, Reply)
This is a normal post THIS IS NOT MY LIFE STORY
I am in fact one of her children
*steals £6.72 from Baruk's wallet*
 (I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:57, Reply)