Hahahaha OMFG
Hummm... I feel a poll coming on...
Baruk...
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barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:16,
Reply)
Ooo you're some cold bastards out there!
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barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:27,
Reply)
With girlfriend
but proper munter, I'm feeling generous today!
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:27,
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fat, twice-divorcee in her fifties
with bleached hair, a gunt and a prolapsed fanny. She wears leggings and shops in Asda (Smart Price range only).
She has 4 kids by 3 different men, and they only come round when they want money for booze and drugs. They steal from Baruk but he says nothing for fear of reprisals. Baruk hates his life, but does not have the confidence or money to do anything about it. Baruk occasionally visits his widowed mum in the hospice. Girlfriend never comes with him. He is secretly glad of that. He cries quietly to himself on the bus on the way home. He has a part-time job in Comet but has been warned for leering at the female employees.
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:36,
Reply)
this is my life
are you my stalker?
that prolapsed fanny though, the things i can get in there....
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Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:41,
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there is so much to carry round these days!
phone, wallet, keys, ipod, tissues, rohypnol, balaclava
it's a shame that handbags for men are so unfashionable, still at least you have a solution!
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:44,
Reply)
prepare yourself
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=gunt
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:46,
Reply)
a lot of women have a bit of a bulge in this area
i thought it was because it was where the baby making equipment was?
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Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:53,
Reply)
well yes, I guess
but after babby is made, there are the pelvic floor muscle exercises to perform!
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:54,
Reply)
but the bit between the pubic mound and the tummy
isn't the pelvic floor shurely.
gotta dash. thanks for this great thread!!
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Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:56,
Reply)
This made me sad.
Poor Baruk.
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:07,
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If you like, I can make him win the lottery
and get his self-esteem back
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:21,
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yes please!
And get off with a lingerie model and live on a yacht.
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:28,
Reply)
fuck that
he's not getting a better life than mine.
How about...
On his way home from Comet one night, Baruk spotted an job advert in an agency window for a warehouse operative. He felt he could do that, so applied and got the job!
Six months later he had a new circle of friends and managed to save up a bit of money and secretly moved out of the flat he shared with his girlfriend and started up a new life a few miles away. He was now living on his own, but was very happy.
Shortly afterwards his mother died in the hospice. Her funeral was a quiet but dignified affair. Baruk inherited enough money to put a deposit on a 2 bedroom terrace house which allowed him to get to know his neighbours. He struck up a friendship with a plain but friendly woman about the same age as his. She lived 2 doors down. Her name is Susan. He did odd-jobs for her, she cooked him meals.
As time went on, their friendship became stronger until one night they kissed. They kissed for hours. They couldn't keep their hands off each other.
They now spend their weekends attending fantasy role-play events and are both happy, if cautious about the future.
Baruk has been promoted to a supervisor position at the warehouse. He has bought a small car and is planning his first ever foreign holiday with his new girlfriend. He never thinks about his ex.
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:05,
Reply)
Yes!
Good for Baruk. See, life as a German role playing odd bod isn't so bad really, is it?!
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t0ria has forgotten how this all works, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:30,
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his life is in my hands
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 14:38,
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hahaha
you've been having an affair with her haven't you?
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Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:26,
Reply)
THIS IS NOT MY LIFE STORY
I am in fact one of her children
*steals £6.72 from Baruk's wallet*
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Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 13:57,
Reply)
hahahaha
"Baruk ging daraufhin zum nahe gelegenen Fluß und badete dort."
whatever mate.
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Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:18,
Reply)
immediately followed by
"Die nächsten zwei Stunden blubberten aus seinem Mund Seifenblasen, aber dies schien ihm nichts auszumachen, denn Mbarrka schien die Seifenblasen interessant zu finden."
Soap bubble came from his mouth for the next 2 hours, but he didn't mind because Mbarrka seemed to find them interesting.
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admiral crunch holds the newsreader's nose squarely, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:25,
Reply)
hahaha
wow.
so what does "Baruk ging daraufhin zum nahe gelegenen Fluß und badete dort." mean plz?
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Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:29,
Reply)
it looks and sounds better in german
sounds boring in english. i was hoping for something esoteric ;)
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Avast is still alive!!!!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:37,
Reply)
a lot of stuff sounds better in German
Bitte einmal Doener mit scharfe Sosse.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)
Haha
It's not just the caveman outfit. The other characters on that site are full of win:
www.aratan.de/charakter.html
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:24, Reply)
I wish I spoke German
so I had even a vague idea of what's meant to be going on
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)
it would be enough
to put on contact lenses ...
his glasses destroy the magic.
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:34, Reply)
True
hence his pirate looking like a middle-aged gay accountant on a yachting holiday:
www.aratan.de/michel.html
(, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:40, Reply)
Christ. And this is the country that put us out of the World Cup?
sheeesh...
(
barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:34,
Reply)
NEDERLAND!
Sister in law is of Dutch extraction - good enough for me.
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barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 12:39,
Reply)