Poo Pea
Broken Arrow and the case of the missing underpants
Now first of all, this isn't my proudest moment but in hindsight I laugh my ass off at my stupidity.

Cue wavy lines to about 30 years ago when I was 5 years old. In those days the estate we lived on was perfectly safe, or so it seemed, so kids were let out all day, without parents worrying that some paedo was going to nab them in broad daylight. In other words, the days before peado mania hit the headlines

So most weekends were spent riding round on my bike looking for things to do, it was a grifter if my memory serves me right and my trusty stead, sporting spokey dokeys was ready for action on the upper part of the estate.

Usually there was some sort of competition going and on that day it was who could leave the biggest tyre skid on the pavement (grifters ruled the roost in that dept, due to the pedal back breaking), although the competition had nothing to do with the story, skids were definitely going to happen again that day, just not from a tyre and not on the pavement.

Anyway after my glory of winning one skid competition I was suddenly hit with an almighty shit ache. A shit ache of such epic proportions that I couldn’t actually move. I had to think fast as I didn’t want to be riding home with a full load and like a German bomber saving fuel, I knew I had to un-load the cargo somewhere. Eureka ka ka ka!! -Paul’s house.

Paul was one of those kids your mum dropped you off with when she was busy and his house was meters away. Brilliant I thought, I’ll knock on Paul’s house, explain the difficulty and that would be that.....Wrong....very wrong, I knocked once, no answer, knocked again, still nothing. By this time my bowels had decided that Paul would be in and had set off a silent timer and it was coming close to explosion time...Think Broken think mate...FWAPP !!!!! Too late!!!!! Although I would handle the situation totally different now, a young Broken decided in his ultimate wisdom that this was one shipment he didn’t want to take back home, in fear of a tanned shitty backside. So this is what I did next.

With the precision of a surgeon and in broad daylight I took my pants off and tried to chuck them over Paul’s fence...Opps hit the fence and left shit stain, I had to try a different technique. Ah Yes, I thought, the faithful slingshot, now my shits in those days were perfect, because I hadn’t had time or authority to ruin my diet so no sticky mess just a perfectly formed turd.....Bingo, got the turd and the pants over there first try, result!!!!!! A sneaky look out to the pavement and I was off, a little discomfort due to non- wipeage but still feeling fairly proud of myself for dealing with the situation and the ride home smelt of victory....Well kind of.

Got home and all was well, just in time for bath time, sweet I thought, good opportunity to clean up my stinging rusty sheriffs badge. Fobbed my mum off in regards to why I didn’t have any pants, however I will always remember my mum’s words when she uttered this sentence.

“Well god knows where your pants went Broken but luckily I brought this new machine a couple of days ago and I have written your name in every pair of Y-fronts you own, so they may turn up”

Weirdly enough I never did go round to Pauls to play again and we moved shortly afterwards....I always wondered whether it was my shitty sling shot that was the reason for getting out of there......I guess I’ll just never know.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 14:33, 7 replies)

PAEDO MANIA!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 14:42, closed)

We all want to do a poo at Paul's.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 14:56, closed)

I suspect your memory is hazy
Grifters didn't have coaster brakes on the back wheel
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 15:20, closed)

I know
It was a Strika. Pooflake commented on that when I originally posted this 4 years ago. Delusions of grandeur, what can I say...
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 15:22, closed)

I thought the strika was the small one with single speed and normal brakes, like what I had.
Both were like soviet copycats of bmx's.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 21:42, closed)

lol
that's a perfect description of a grifter, a Soviet BMX......3 times the weight and ugly.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 19 Jun 2015, 22:46, closed)

I think
it was single speed but definitely had the back pedal breaking and I remember ripping off the shiny sticker, so I could pretend it was a boxer or grifter.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 22 Jun 2015, 10:54, closed)