Funny StoriesOn a school trip, a boy in my brother's class crapped himself down a Dutch mine, writes Richard mcbeef off the Internet. The teachers tried to blame the smell on sulphur but the truth came out when they left the mine, as the boy was wearing chinos with massive dark brown streaks running down the back of his legs.
Do you have a funny story of your own?
(, Thu 18 Jun 2015, 12:30)
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GuildfordTrain StationSuited and booted on the train travelling from Clapham to Guildford to attend a job interview after graduating from University. Huge turd attack occurs. Im still about 30mins away from destination. For some reason all the toilets on the train are either occupied for the entirerity of the journey or locked as they are out of order. The turd attack becomes so bad that I begin to perspire profusely. The only thing stopping me crapping my pants is me pacing up and down the carriage, clenching my cheeks, beads of sweat running down my forehead. After what seems to be an eternity the train finally pulls into Guilford Station. I barge my way past the other commuters and doors and sprint to the platform toilet. My arse does not get a chance to touch the porcelain before the huge torrents of turd are violently ejected from my rectum. The relief is ecstatic. I take a few moments, relax to gather my thoughts then decide it time to clean up and head on. I look round. No bog roll. I had never been in this situation before so I had to improvise. With only the clothes on my body i decided to take off my socks and wipe my ass with my socks. I needed to use both socks. Feeling quite proud of my improvisation, shortly after leaving the cubicle I realised my error because my suit trousers were of the ankle swinger variety, hence i was fully suited up with a shirt and tie, lovely black brogues and no socks with visible bare ankles. Being a male of the dark skinned variety this was quite obvious and needless to say when I sat in front of the interview panel they gave me quite a strange look. I didnt get the job.
(, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 6:20, 8 replies)
should have put them back on(
cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 8:04,
closed)
Why would your skin colour make it more obvious?You do know that white folk aren't born with Paisley and Argyle patterned ankles, right?
(, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 11:36, closed)
So mine arent normal then? (, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 14:37, closed)
Those are varicose veins, grandad.(, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 17:58, closed)
Next timeSacrifice your underpants and go commando.
DAMHIKT
(, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 12:46, closed)
It's not a train stationIt's a railway station
(, Wed 24 Jun 2015, 18:26, closed)
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