Abusing freebiesA friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.
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lizard, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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Dude,Thanks for alleviating my boredom.
I assume this is a spoof as no-one can possibly be this dim, but nevertheless, here are my comments.
- Legless requires a capital, and only uses one g.
- Your syntax is appalling. Perhaps "Has Legless posted the story in which he was given a car, along with a Thai bride and a diesel bull elephant?" would be more elegant.
- Thai has an a and requires a capital.
- "free" is a tautology. If he was given something, evidently it was free.
- The next sentence (which should surely be a paragraph) is just dire. Good heavens, what "uni" (capital required!) did you study within?
- Leaving aside the grammar, whereupon is one word, not two. You do not need an apostrophe in "its" and "wretch" should surely mean retch.
- You need a comma in the final sentence.
Perhaps your entry would read better as:
"Has Legless posted the story in which he was given a car, along with a Thai bride and a diesel bull elephant?
While at University I gained possession of a lot of Hugo Boss samples. As my football boots and trainers smelt a bit I filled them with the aforementioned aftershave.
The fragrant aftershave samples mixed with my cheesy trainers, creating an aroma unique in the history of the world.
Consequently, whenever I smell Hugo Boss, I now feel an urge to vomit."
Still a pretty crappy story though.
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disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Tue 13 Nov 2007, 16:10,
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