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This is a question Abusing freebies

A friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.

(, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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The Silver Fox
In the real world, I worked for some years for a Software Company. This company was US based, but had a couple of offices in the UK.

In the one in which I worked, the kitchen was stocked with a myriad of free food and drink for the staff to avail themselves should hunger take them at any point in the day.

In essence, the fridges were stacked to the gunnels with hams and cold meats, chicken, sandwich spread, various accoutrements, scotch eggs, bacon rashers etc. The cupboards were piled high with various snacks and cakes and the drinks fridge was replenished daily.
It was all free!

On a friday, to accompany the staff meeting, pizza was ordered and beer was imbibed over the lunchbreak, again all paid for by the company.

Now most of the 40 or so staff in this office treated this with respect, not overeating and abusing the courtesy of the company.

There was one guy, deemed to be in his 60's who was christened the Silver Fox by one of the wags on site. He had a house in Paris where he lived with his wife, but lodged in the town for 2 week periods before going back to Paris for a long weekend.

He was a stingy sod, and rented a grotty little room in the town, but also did all his eating in the office. Breakfast, lunch and dinner were all comprised of gargantuan salads bathed in mayonnaise and olive oil (don't skimp on the black pepper), cakes etc.

He dined there at weekends too, one time I blocked his door fob from opening any of the offices which had a kitchens holding food in them, and on Monday enjoyed perusing the logs which showed him piteously trying to open door after door to sate his pangs of hunger, with ever increasing urgency.

When his daughter came to visit one friday, he ordered her a free pizza to accompany his own, instead of spending some of his £70 000 salary on lunch for 2 in a local bistro.

The climax to this came when I arrived in the office one weekend to perform some routine out of hourse maintenance and found him tucking into a microwave curry and rice, with garlic naan, and he had a serviette TUCKED INTO HIS COLLAR. He looked for the world like a cross between Poirot and a Child Molester.

He was sacked soon after. We used to joke that he probably wasted away once he had to pay for his own consumption of salads and cold meats.
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 14:17, Reply)

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