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This is a question Abusing freebies

A friend of mine recently attended a 'Champaign Lunch', where he was compelled drink as much fizzy stuff as he could between the first and last courses. In an ideal world we'd ask restaurant staff to tell us stories about fatties stuffing themselves at All You Can Eat places, but we recognise that our members don't all work in the catering trade, so for the rest of you - tell us something about abusing freebies. BTW: Bee puns = you fail.

(, Thu 8 Nov 2007, 14:16)
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Me Uncle Abusing Hospitality
About 8 years back, me uncle was lonely. He lived with his mum (my gran), and unfortunately she passed on, leaving me uncle to get drunk and lonely. So to help out, as he only lived about 10 minutes walking distance from me mum, she gave him a front door key and offered for him to call up whenever he was passing.

At first, as we lived inbetween his house and the social club he attended he'd call in and all was ok. We didn't mind at all as he was close family after all; he was my mother's brother. He then got himself a dog at the same time as us, as they were both from the same litter. He idolised this dog whom he called Sam, and regularly brought him up for walks to us. Sam took great delight in shitting around our garden and attacking our dog (his brother), damaging our dog's eye in the process.
This started to happen more and more frequently, with me uncle turning up all days of the week now, and my dad was starting to get pissed off at his brother-in-law, taking advantage of our hospitality. So my dad drops a small hint "Christ, we may as well pull a bed up for you" etc, but "What about Bob" would still show up, making a right state of the house eating our food and drinking stuff from our fridge etc and generally getting on my dad's nerves.

After a few months of this and my dad politely saying to his face "You know you're a part of this family, but obviously we have our own lives too and we all need our own space to live. I'm not saying don't call up, just not every day that's all."

If anything, me uncle came up more, and my dad's patience wore to breaking point.

I get home from work one afternoon, and walk into the living room to find my mother crying and me dad standing there smiling, but looking a bit sheepish.
"What's up 'en?"
"Ermmm..." says dad, "I errr...kind of went mental with your uncle."
"What did you do?"
"Well it's not my fault really, but you know how he's been taking advantage of your mum and taking all of our food etc?"
"...well he...err...done it again today after I asked him not to call up all the time. I got home from work and found him drinking a cuppa in the living room. So I kind of....took him out the garden, grabbed the back of his head and drilled him with about 7 punches to the face. In fairness, he's got a real hard skull too, he was still standing." Dad smiles while saying this as he's an ex-amateur boxer, and me mum walks out of the living room crying. Very tactful dad.

In fairness me uncle never took the piss again after that incident and now me dad and uncle get on great. See? Sometimes it only takes a good hiding....
(, Wed 14 Nov 2007, 18:49, Reply)

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