Physically assaulting God-botherers
This is a weird addiction, so bear with me.

I really hate religion. I hate everything about it. I've had a problem containing the rage since school days, when the local vicar would preach his bullshit during assembly where I had to patiently absorb it or suffer the wrath of the headmaster.

My vitriol is now at the point where just seeing a member of the cloth brings the red mist down. I've even had to be restrained by my friends before, most recently after verbally attacking a bishop on his way to a service. I nearly got arrested for that one but I didn't care. I've realised I get a massive buzz out of intimidating the sanctimonious fuckers.

To make matters worse, I recently moved into a shared house and met a like-minded chap. He shares my contempt for theological brainwashing; if anything he's strengthened my resolve to take it to the next level, so we've formulated a plan.

We live pretty close to a Roman Catholic convent so we're going to go out early next Sunday morning and wait for those pretentious black-clad cunts to make their way to the church. My flatmate bought a pair of steel toe-capped DMs for the occasion, which might be pushing it too far. I'm meant to distract them while he kicks one of the sisters squarely up the arse.

It's dangerous, but we're both determined to kick the Habit.



What?
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8:08, 13 replies)

a huge office laugh
is a great way to start the last week of work before christmas!

good stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8:27, closed)

My pleasure
This QOTW has been a bit dark so far. I thought I'd lighten it up
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8:34, closed)

/bishop-bashing joke
as you were.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 8:44, closed)

I was so tempted to do that
but I wanted to maintain the deception until the real punchline
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:24, closed)

*applauds*
Bravo!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:00, closed)

Too kind!
Cheers :-)
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:24, closed)

Haha nice one. Getting towards the end there I was thinking 'Oh fuck me, here's a nutter'
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 9:26, closed)

Excellent
A tremendous payoff! Click!
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 10:32, closed)

He kicked Bishop Brennan up the arse!

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Mon 22 Dec 2008, 11:24, closed)

Haha!
classic, I didn't catch on til the very end. *click*
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 14:26, closed)

Me neither
You were starting to scare me somewhat until I saw the punchline.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 21:53, closed)

Pfffft!
Ace!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 22 Dec 2008, 23:12, closed)

Fucking fantastic!
That's ace my friend.
(Angie the Redneck Wonder, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:11, closed)