
Our old pal Freddie Woo says: An ancient aunt once tried to kidnap me and leave me on an island after lying about the last ferry. Ever been forced to do something good or bad?
( , Thu 31 Jul 2014, 11:35)
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is this very weekend less than three miles away from my house and I must track him down. All I have to go on is the height of approximately 190cm, thin, pallid skin tone, possible arching in the thoracic region, gnarled blackened fingers from keyboard pounding and a pronounced gait - I imagine something from the John Cleese repertoire with a hint of Hitler Youth. Any further details to help in the quest or general abuse then please reply.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:09, 113 replies)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:25, closed)

Wasn't hard mind, I'd invited him.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:01, closed)

Was Shambles wearing his favourite comedy t-shirt at this gloriously backwards event?
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:12, closed)

...by mentioning your happy marriage, successful career etc, etc.
Presumably because you only have to mention saltwater pools, say, to invoke paroxysms of rage in the unstable creepy weepy types.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:40, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:13, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:09, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:32, closed)

You can just follow the incoherent rage-induced bellowing of self-aggrandising bollocks coupled with the stench of mildewed micropenis?
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:34, closed)

We'll be over there about three. I can post a photo if the weepies promise not to rip their little nubbins off masturbating to it.
edit: jesus ... look at all these upset cunts whose usernames I don't even recognise
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:14, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:17, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:25, closed)

put down the traffic calming.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:32, closed)

www.nickelinthemachine.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/Haroldwithcigar.jpg
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:30, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:01, closed)

Middle-aged parents taking drugs...
Grow the fuck up, you embarrassment.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:05, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:26, closed)

Anyone else as riveted as I am? I can't wait to follow the dramatic events as they unfold. Well known internet loser, Dr Shambolic is going to post a photo of himself going to a festival! That's right, a festival! And rampant homosexualist dr_and_quinch is going to be there too! And maybe they'll meet! And maybe something else will happen!
We are watching the single biggest event in both of their lives unfold live on b3ta!
I'll be sure to post some pics at the end of the month too...when I fly Upper Class to Miami for my three weeks in the Aventura penthouse. But secretly I wish I was meeting shambolic and quinchy in a field in Yorkshire.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:07, closed)

Odd they've never appeared.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:11, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:39, closed)

I can't wait, it'll be more epic than Stanley & Livingstone!
"Dr. Shambolic, I presume?"
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:42, closed)

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( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:17, closed)

Yes, I managed to photoshop an entire suite of HSBC Premier bank accounts within two minutes.
Why did I delete it? Because I knew how much it would upset you.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:20, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:21, closed)

Enjoy getting messed up in a tent. I hope it pisses down with rain.
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:29, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:20, closed)

Have you considered getting professional help Quinchy?
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:30, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:38, closed)

Doc Ess must be so proud (especially as he's essentially achieved beakering-by-proxy).
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:21, closed)

( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:26, closed)

At least you don't have to clean an 42000 litre salt water pool
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:45, closed)

If by 'messiah' you mean out-posting every other user by 100-1, then yes you've achieved that goal.
Is that what you're celebrating this weekend?
( , Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:56, closed)
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