This is against my will but I am compelled to do it. Taking internet stalking to new heights, Dr.Shambolic
is this very weekend less than three miles away from my house and I must track him down. All I have to go on is the height of approximately 190cm, thin, pallid skin tone, possible arching in the thoracic region, gnarled blackened fingers from keyboard pounding and a pronounced gait - I imagine something from the John Cleese repertoire with a hint of Hitler Youth. Any further details to help in the quest or general abuse then please reply.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:09, 113 replies)

He can't be that hard to find, if his claims of getting his own family photos GAZ'd back to him, are to be believed.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:25, closed)

I once found him at my wedding.
Wasn't hard mind, I'd invited him.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:01, closed)

Less of a wedding more of a harpooning mate.
Was Shambles wearing his favourite comedy t-shirt at this gloriously backwards event?
(Your name: Board Sig:, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:12, closed)

Alright Rick Fathelme.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:22, closed)

Did you mean backwoods?

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:26, closed)

it was in Suffolk ... it was both

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:31, closed)

I thought you were without internet?

(Ronnie Pickering, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:56, closed)

how many weepy stalker accounts do you tragedies have?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:58, closed)

What I've never understood is why it seems to think think that you're somehow trolling you..
...by mentioning your happy marriage, successful career etc, etc.

Presumably because you only have to mention saltwater pools, say, to invoke paroxysms of rage in the unstable creepy weepy types.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:40, closed)

See?
b3ta.com/questions/againstyourwill/post2342006
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:42, closed)

And if they're really angry, they'll post a picture of you going out enjoying yourself.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:13, closed)

Nothing quite says happiness like being seen with Bariatric Belinda and hoping that nobody guesses that you married it.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:09, closed)

A bag around the waist for all the MASSIVE DRUGS!

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:48, closed)

mostly insulin and glucose in that case ... hardcore til I die

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:02, closed)

Even your own body wishes you were dead.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:07, closed)

REALLY MASSIVE DRUGS!

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:31, closed)

Presumably he was standing in front of your wife.
(Bum Bag Fashion Boy Burned a home made pizza on, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:13, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/againstyourwill/post2341891
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:22, closed)

it's funny because she's fat

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:23, closed)

Like weddings are real things.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:15, closed)

It was enough to drive poor Baldmonkey to a breakdown.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:21, closed)

I imagine he'll be the fellow with a penis attached to his head. Bit of a giveaway.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:32, closed)

Surely
You can just follow the incoherent rage-induced bellowing of self-aggrandising bollocks coupled with the stench of mildewed micropenis?
(DarkLite swallowed my entire undercarriage, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 9:34, closed)

I believe this is an accurate recent portrait

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:00, closed)

I'm still on the correct side of the border.
We'll be over there about three. I can post a photo if the weepies promise not to rip their little nubbins off masturbating to it.

edit: jesus ... look at all these upset cunts whose usernames I don't even recognise
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:14, closed)

Okay. means you will be passing through the village. I will get my anorak on and go car spotting.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:17, closed)

I'll let off the Dukes of Hazard horn.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:19, closed)

The villagers will very much appreciate that or if you could get something Wagnerian that is also good.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:25, closed)

Are there any roundabouts or carparks we can donut in?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:28, closed)

Nah, the council and the po po stopped all that. I had to sell my 3.0 litre Ford Capri when they
put down the traffic calming.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:32, closed)

I was always more in the 2.8i camp
I never had any class.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:34, closed)

I was always more in the 2.8i camp
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:46, closed)

Pah. I'm the machoist man in Jamaica.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:04, closed)

that has ruined everything. I do mean everything.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:41, closed)

Splendid!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:52, closed)

Only because I thought you would look like a younger Reverend Harold Davidson.
www.nickelinthemachine.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/Haroldwithcigar.jpg
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 12:30, closed)

I look like the sort of classless slag who loses one of his false eyelashes on massive drugs (tm)

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:01, closed)

Middle-aged parents taking drugs...

Grow the fuck up, you embarrassment.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:05, closed)

nah

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:15, closed)

You're not wrong.
That is a horrible shirt.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:11, closed)

Bit of Duchamp knock-off but not that bad.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:21, closed)

Looks like a deckchair giving birth.
To an ugly baby.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 14:38, closed)

Moments like this is why replies should be able to win

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:38, closed)

There's gon' be a whole loada clingfilm being applied to keyboards and monitors today.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:26, closed)

tears and cum, a bit like an exhibition by Gilbert and George.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:28, closed)

that's how Hellman's make their low calorie mayo.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 10:31, closed)

Fuck me this is exciting.
Anyone else as riveted as I am? I can't wait to follow the dramatic events as they unfold. Well known internet loser, Dr Shambolic is going to post a photo of himself going to a festival! That's right, a festival! And rampant homosexualist dr_and_quinch is going to be there too! And maybe they'll meet! And maybe something else will happen!

We are watching the single biggest event in both of their lives unfold live on b3ta!

I'll be sure to post some pics at the end of the month too...when I fly Upper Class to Miami for my three weeks in the Aventura penthouse. But secretly I wish I was meeting shambolic and quinchy in a field in Yorkshire.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:07, closed)

you've offered to post photographs of your imaginary property and playboy lifestyle before
Odd they've never appeared.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:11, closed)

albert, I never said I was going to the festival so your statement along with your bank statement is false.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:39, closed)

I can't wait, it'll be more epic than Stanley & Livingstone!

"Dr. Shambolic, I presume?"
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:42, closed)

I would never presume.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:48, closed)

Nice deleting.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:00, closed)

baffling ... almost as though you'd pointed out yet another gaping hole in his incredibly dull fantasy life

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:04, closed)

Yeah I know, draw down on a LOC. durrrrrr

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:08, closed)

Why draw down on a line of credit when you've got cash?

Why?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:13, closed)

why would you delete your hilarious attempt at a fake bank account, bobby? why?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:17, closed)

Yes, I managed to photoshop an entire suite of HSBC Premier bank accounts within two minutes.

Why did I delete it? Because I knew how much it would upset you.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:20, closed)

and not because people pointed out that if they were remotely real then you're an even bigger financial dipwit than we ever imagined?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:21, closed)

Enjoy getting messed up in a tent. I hope it pisses down with rain.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:29, closed)

thanks ... I will

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:30, closed)

You should watch that film, 'Other people's money'. It is well educational.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:20, closed)

I prefer the follow up "Completely Imaginary Money"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:25, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/againstyourwill/post2339866
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:12, closed)

I do it for the lulz.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:20, closed)

I do it to upset shambolic.

And it never fails.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:31, closed)

This is almost as creepy as the whole EdsMeds thing.
Have you considered getting professional help Quinchy?
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:30, closed)

wise words StuJ, wise words.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:37, closed)

Yeah, I mean Dog The Bounty Hunter might be able to help you track him down.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:38, closed)

You know I have a thing for dawgs wife.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 11:40, closed)

Is this the week's most populous thread?
Doc Ess must be so proud (especially as he's essentially achieved beakering-by-proxy).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:21, closed)

No, 103 is the best.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:22, closed)

I never asked to become the messiah of a dying backwater on a website that promotes child porn and defends abusers of underage girls

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:26, closed)

We all must shoulder burdens that are trust upon us against our will
At least you don't have to clean an 42000 litre salt water pool
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:45, closed)

If by 'messiah' you mean out-posting every other user by 100-1, then yes you've achieved that goal.

Is that what you're celebrating this weekend?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 7 Aug 2014, 13:56, closed)