I knew a bloke called alan. A plumber with a red face, crushing handshake and a love for drink
He also liked swearing. "Fucking get fucking-well fucked" and similar. As he got older his behaviour got worse. Where once he'd been funny and irreverant he slowly turned boorish and cruel. Often he'd turn up unannounced with a six-pack, drink it all himself and some of our grog. Sometimes he'd pass out and shit his pants. Some old friends refused to speak with him after he told them he wished he'd fucked their daughters. He left his wife for this wierd English lady. She was bookish and introverted, but they had drinking in common. His adult kids hated her. His doctor told him he'd die if he kept drinking. He kept drinking and died of liver failure and other complications.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 3 Jul 2015, 23:52, 3 replies)

hahahaha! this to win

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 0:14, closed)

I love a happy ending.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 4 Jul 2015, 10:16, closed)

Classic Alan.

( Pig Bodine., Sat 4 Jul 2015, 13:02, closed)