I think it probably started to go a bit wrong when she tried to explain percentages to somebody with a PhD in maths.
b3ta.com/questions/allwentwrong/post1880369
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:43, 27 replies)

Fuck me.
You have a PHD in maths and you STILL think that £1,400 pcm works out as a total mortgage of £1.1m with rates of 4.5% pa?

Typical of eternal students, no idea how to apply their knowledge in the real world. Gotta worry about a supposed adult who chooses to spend half their life in school. Fair enough if it's slightly vocational - but maths?

AND YOU STILL CAN'T CALCULATE A BASIC MORTGAGE REPAYMENT FIGURE.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 21:51, closed)

1.5 you dumb cunt
derp derp derp
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:05, closed)

Where the fuck have you got 1.5% from?
For the last time, as if I had wanted to be a teacher, I would have been.

Rates at the time were 5%. My rate tracked .5% below that rate. This gives us a rate of 4.5% for my mortgage. Borrowing £375k at 4.5% pa works out at monthly payments of £1,400.00 - which then dropped to £0pcm within a year, as the base rate fell to .5%

You do the math.

G'night.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:09, closed)

You asked where I got 1.1 million from so I explained.
You're a bit defensive here.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 7:24, closed)

I have to agree with Albert here
www.bankofengland.co.uk/boeapps/iadb/Repo.asp

5.0% from April to October 2008

(However, when the mortgage rate dropped to zero I would have paid down the principal on the mortgage. 3 years payments knocks £50k off the principal, so if interest rates go back up you're better-off).
( Ghoti Fingers, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 22:51, closed)

I'm afraid that makes you a sex offender as well then.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 28 Feb 2013, 23:29, closed)

Right. But I'm simply explaining the figures in my original post which were based on the 2% rate implied before he edited his.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 7:26, closed)

Nothing's been edited my learned friend.
I used the same link in my original post, clearly showing 2008 rates.

Face it, you supposedly have a PHD yet you can't fathom a sub-GCSE percentage problem.

Good luck in life, you're gonna need it.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:01, closed)

Awww. Thanks.
I've always wanted advice from a creepy internet stalker and semi-literate fantasist.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:04, closed)

No really, the pleasure's all mine.
But the fantasist crown is surely all yours, to claim a PHD and then fail an 11yr old's question on percentages.

Maybe next week I'll school you in basic fractions.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:02, closed)

Learn to read, munchkin.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:23, closed)

Learn to count, 'doctor'.

( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 12:12, closed)

You honestly can't see how silly you're being, can you?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 12:38, closed)

Not half as silly as sweating over a PHD in mathmatics
and not being able to grasp the basic principle of percentages.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 12:45, closed)

It's written "PhD"
HTH
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 23:01, closed)

Is a maths PhD
the intellectual's Honda Accord?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 8:39, closed)

Certainly appears to be.
Looks like they can be bought for about the same price, too.
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 8:49, closed)

I was paid to do mine.
You're doin it rong
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:10, closed)

Doing what exactly?

(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:20, closed)

internet

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 10:41, closed)

More like a Prius.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:04, closed)

Nah, your emissions are too high.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:16, closed)

Are you calling me a hummer?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:25, closed)

*hums*

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 1 Mar 2013, 9:30, closed)

That's 3 minutes of my life that I will NEVER get back.
Aside from his story being a bit...fishy (I'm being charitable, because I'm lovely), who the fuck boasts about their property investments on b3ta? Seriously, is this what it comes down to?

I AM NOT OLD ENOUGH TO SPEND MY EVENINGS TALKING ABOUT HOUSE PRICES AND INVESTMENT PORTFOLIOS. I STILL RENT. I BARELY HAVE A PENSION. I LIKE GOING OUT AND DRINKING AND WATCHING CARTOONS, THE IDEA OF A MORTGAGE IS LAUGHABLE AND TERRIFYING AT THE SAME TIME.

FUCK this shit. I'm going to eat my feelings until people stop being boring about house prices and interest rates on my internet.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sat 2 Mar 2013, 3:04, closed)

Soz, mum.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 2 Mar 2013, 20:39, closed)

Any chance you could show us some proof of said PhD?
It's just that I really can't see when you've had the time.
What with all the posts you've written here and then deleted.
Because you didn't look like a tragic idiot.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 3 Mar 2013, 23:04, closed)