Oxford University, 1996
A young emvee had been encouraged by his school to apply to Oxford and with an interest in doing PPE at Jesus College, I attended an open day there. I quite liked the university and understood that if the "informal" chat with the Professor went well I'd be offered a place, so along with about 20 other prospective students I trooped into his study and found myself somewhere to sit. He'd just about got into the introduction when there was a knock at the door and this girl arrived late.

She was a 10, no question, with beautiful brunette hair, lovely face and a stunning body - I was more or less smitten at first sight. Being late, there weren't any chairs left so the Professor rummaged around behind his desk and managed to find her a small stool to sit on and she found herself a bit of space to sit down - directly opposite me. Even though she was wearing a long skirt, it was one of those that had a split up the middle at the front and this, combined with my 18 year-old libido, was to prove my downfall as it allowed me a perfect view of her knickers.

There I was, thinking quite happily to myself: "They're white, they're lacy and I can just about see a little bit of bush behind them" when I realised the study had gone quiet and everyone seemed to be looking at me, including the object of my affections. The Professor had just asked me a question about the European Union or some such shit, and was expecting a smart-arsed answer. I had to confess that I had no idea what he was talking about.

I never got that offer and I didn't go to Oxford, all for a brief glimpse of gusset.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:12, 10 replies)

I'm trying to see what
exactly went wrong.

Were they cotton, or what?
(username failed moderation, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:18, closed)

That's not how Oxford admissions work.

(jennymnemonic, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:19, closed)

I think after that you got invited back to do a test or something and if you did well in that you got an offer
It was a long time ago and honestly I don't really care, I was scraping the barrel for a story where "it all went wrong" to be honest
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:35, closed)

a
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:29, closed)

So it's your fault we've got Cameron.
If you'd behaved yourself we could have had you.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:55, closed)

Hahahaha
In that case everyone else's stories would have started with "When emvee became Prime Minister..."
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 16:58, closed)

But did you get to *some sexual innuendo involving Transformers* with her?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 17:00, closed)

Sadly I didn't even get to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle her
:(
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 17:10, closed)

Oh man, you didn't get to bebop her in the krang?
Gutted.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 15:24, closed)

LOL
I see what you did there
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 6 Mar 2013, 14:42, closed)