I sent a cv for a job last week. I re-read it again today and as a placeholder in the skills section I'd written "I once fucked a puppy" until I could think of a final one to round it out
then forgotten to replace it.
I've not heard back from them yet.
It's a nice job and would allow me to work in a country I want to live. Maybe this will be where it all went wrong.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 20:42, 15 replies)

Well, look at it from their point of view - they're considering employing someone who either likes sex with animals, or is careless and forgetful.
Depending on the job, one or both of these might be an advantage.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 20:48, closed)

Wait, you have to apply to be a mod now?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 4 Mar 2013, 21:13, closed)

you fucking tool

( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 21:58, closed)

Sorry.
But ^THIS!^
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 4 Mar 2013, 22:43, closed)

Your CV will be pinned to a wall somewhere for years, if it's any consolation
( cs1ca, Mon 4 Mar 2013, 23:08, closed)

i note that you do not later state
That you did not.
(speedevil, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 1:02, closed)

This is marvelous.
I mean, you fucking eejit, but marvelous all the same.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 1:56, closed)

Mrs Vagabond has recently re-entered work after being made redundant.
I was in charge of proofing her CV, and missed "Proofreading and MSWrod skills" on at one point, which went out to about five people.

But yours is waay better.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:30, closed)

My favourite is still the person who applied for the job of email marketing assistant
by fax
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 9:36, closed)

See, I don't know which is worse:
that, or the fact that I think that's actually understandable.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 13:08, closed)

I used to have a CV which I'd written in MS Word.
It took me quite a while before I discovered that the bullet points appeared on a Mac as little love hearts.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 10:59, closed)

this is lovely

( chthonic, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 12:00, closed)

When I worked for a marketing company
HR received a CV that was 11 pages long. It had photos of himself working out and looking thoughtful , it had reviews of his favorite film, TV program & book it had a recipe for fudge... it was mad ..MAD I tell you. I tried to nick it and scan it in but was caught and told off :(
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 11:38, closed)

cumquat may for pope!

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 5 Mar 2013, 13:40, closed)