Accidental animal crueltyI once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.
Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.
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rob, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
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Snail guiltOne of the many houses I have inhabited had a very untidy and overgrown garden. We couldn't be bothered to mow it or anything so it was a wilderness of disgrace in the eyes of all the neighbours. However it must have been some sort of snail heaven because it was full of the damn things. This was fine, until all the snails decided they wanted to have a snail party on the concrete path leading up to the front door, unbeknownst to us, while we were out. It was invariably dark when we got back, so as we marched up the path, this would happen:
Step
Step
CRUNCH
step
CRUNCH
step
CRUNCH CRUNCH
CRUNCH CRUNCH
CRUNCH CRUNCH
CRUNCH OH MY GOD I KILLED THE SNAILS!!!!!
Sorry snails.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 11:43, 4 replies)
I lob them out into the road...little bastards, eating the plants.
Once we found one our bushes infested with them, so the Mrs poured salt on each one. For about ten minutes afterwards we could hear: sssSSClunk...sssSSClunk...sssSSClunk. It was hilarious.
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reallywittyname veraciously conspues lexiphanicism on, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 12:33,
closed)
snailsNo better than slugs with conservatories.
Petit bourgeois mollusc twats.
(Or are they arthropods?)
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Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 12:55,
closed)
I thought I'd suppressed this one but oh god oh godMr happylittletulip likes to re-enact the horrors of a medieval witch-hunt by rounding up all the snails in the garden and then bowling handfuls of them overarm into the hot cruel flames of the chimenea, like some sort of evil cricketing snail-witch-burning... person.
Or at least, he used to, until I threatened all sorts of things like no treats for a year unless he stopped. So now he just throws them over the fence into Next Door.
(, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 15:23, closed)
snails...Two words: tennis racquet
One time I realised it was raining so I hurried out to get my washing in - barefoot. I seem to be plagued with slugs and squished one between my toes.
Whenever someone offers me a wine gum it reminds me...
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snee held his breath since, Thu 13 Dec 2007, 8:17,
closed)
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