Accidental animal crueltyI once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.
Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.
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rob, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
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Lobster's revengeAnother diving-related tale. Again, not accidental but there's a warning here.
A coupe of lads in the club, Neil and Steve, are grubbing around in the North Sea, poking around in rocks looking for lobsters. They manage to find one, and a big fucker too. Now the usual practice in cases like these is to get your clique out (essentially a long metal implement with a bent end), poke it in the hole, and tease the lobster out.
Not this bastard. He's a big boy, bigger than your average lobster, and has obviously got to the size he has by learning a thing or too. Especially with regards to 6-foot men dressed in rubber armed with a metal pokey-object. He's wedged in there, and aint coming out. However, Neil and Steve valiantly continue their efforts, but to no avail.
Instead of conceding defeat to this monster of the deep, though, Steve thinks "I wonder if this hole goes all the way through to the other side of this reef"? So he swims around, and sure enough there is a crack round the back. Neil has sussed what Steve has in mind, so stays round the front, waiting. Meanwhile, Steve has got his clique out and is ramming it into the hole, pounding away furiously like some sub-aqua Ron Jeremy.
His efforts had the desired effect, and the lobster, fed up of having his arse poked with a metal stick, shoots out the other end and Neil makes a grab for it.
Except that, he didn't get it in the bag before it flashed a look of unadulterated lobster-fury at him, stuck out its fist-sized claw, and grabbed a hold of Neil's regulator hose...
This being the underwater equivalent of being strangled, Neil is faced with a dilemma - does he have a go at prising the claw off his regulator hose and wrestle the beast into the bag, before heading back to shove the bastard in a pot of boiling water? Or does he do the noble thing and release his grip?
A rapid assessment of the consequences led Neil to reach the only conclusion possible. He released his grip. The lobster reciprocated, dropped down to the sea bed, and strode mightily back into his hole.
Lobster - 1, divers - nil.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 Dec 2007, 12:57,
4 replies)
Hahaha.King of the lobsters!
(, Fri 7 Dec 2007, 16:18, closed)
Truly excellentAren't big ass lobsters kind of tough and gamey , though?
(I'm in freshwater Michigan, what do I know about lobsters?)
(, Sun 9 Dec 2007, 1:08, closed)
Yeah, they areI think it was a kudos thing as much as the prospect of having something tasty for supper though.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 10 Dec 2007, 10:53,
closed)
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